Conversation between a Rat and Man

Rat: (with tiny voice) hello.
Man: hello, who am i speaking with?
Rat: Na Mr John be dis abi?
Man: yes this is Mr John, who is
dis pls?
Rat: so u no recognize my voice abi? Na me
ur
room mate.
Man: u say what?.
Rat: ur room mate Rat. I dey ur room now..
Man: i beg ur pardon?
Rat: which yeye beg u dey beg me. i never
chop since yesterday wey u waka comot. I
check that place wey u dey put food i no see
anything. I check d kitchen nothing. I even
check ur fridge no single food there. E be
like say u wan kill me abi.. No problem, i jux
say make i let u know say That ur certificate
4 inside your wardrobe wey dem write
LAGOS STATE UNIVERSITY I don eat d "LA"
comot.
Remaining "GOS"STATE UNIVERSITY. Let me
see which work u go take "GOS" State
University find....
(rat ends call)
the man fainted