How To Overcome Social Anxiety

You want to meet people, make friends,
and share yourself with the world, but
social interactions can be nerve wracking
for all of us. People with social anxiety
constantly doubt their social adequacy,
and worry about what might happen if
people don’t like them or if they say or do
the wrong thing. Although therapy can be
very useful for people who suffer from
social anxiety disorder, there a number of
techniques you can try to cure your
anxiety without the need for professional
help. Just see Step 1 below to get started.

1.Recognizing Your Triggers
Learn to recognize the situations and
people that make you anxious.Do you feel
that pang of anxiety when you walk into
the classroom or the lunch room? Maybe
certain people, like your boss or
coworkers trigger your anxiety when you
interact with them. Maybe you clam up in
a group of close friends when the
conversation turns to certain topics. Pay
attention to the moments in which you
feel anxiety. What causes it? When do you
feel it?

2.Also pay attention to situations you
tend to avoid. Do you always sit by
yourself at lunch, rather than asking to sit
with others? Always turn down invitations
to parties? Do you hurry past coworkers
gathering to go for happy hour drinks? Do
you avoid using public restrooms?

3.Make a list of the places that make you
anxious.Take a notebook with you when
you go out and keep it handy. When you
feel anxious, make a note of it. Describe
where you are, who is with you, and what
you're feeling. Be specific.

4.Keeping a journal is a great way to
"talk" without fear of judgment. Keep one
and write in it regularly. Personalize it
with drawings, photographs and
quotations that you enjoy.
Order the list into an "exposure
hierarchy." Look at your list of anxiety
triggers and order them from least to
most intimidating. At the bottom of the
list might be speaking in class or asking a
stranger for directions, while at the top of
the list might be asking someone to a
dinner date or singing karaoke. It's up to
you, but be completely honest. [1]
*.You might try going through and
assigning them numbers first to help with
the ordering. Give a 1 for "scary" triggers,
a 2 for "quite scary," and a 3 if they are
the "most scary" triggers.

5 Set small objective goals for each item
on the list.In general, you want to work
on feeling more comfortable and
confident in group settings, but what
kinds of steps will it take to accomplish
that specifically? It would be nice to tear
through the list in a week and get over all
anxieties at once, right? That might be
too much to take on. An objective goal
might be making three comments in a
classroom discussion of a novel, or to ask
one person on a dinner date--something
that you can quantify with a yes or a no,
"I did it" or "I can't."

6.Use your exposure hierarchy as a guide,
starting with the least intimidating
triggers.