How to Be a Good Wife

Being a good wife is not easy, even if you have
a near-perfect husband. To be a good wife,
you have to be able to communicate
effectively, to keep your romance alive, and to
be your husband's best friend while
maintaining your own identity. If you want to
know how to do it, just follow these steps.

Communicate Effectively

1. Express your feelings and needs
effectively.Your husband doesn't have
clairvoyant powers. If you want something,
ask. If something is wrong, say so. Don't drop
hints or figure he'll "come around" or you'll
never get anything done. If you want to be
able to express how you feel, you should be
able to speak with a positive tone and to listen
to what your husband says instead of being
accusatory.
Here are some ways to do it:

Send "I messages." Instead of accusing him
of not meeting your needs, focus the
conversation on yourself.

For instance, tell
him, "I feel ignored when I don't see you until
6:30 every night."

Listen to what he says. When he tells you
something, repeat what he said back to him so
that he knows you understand. For example,
"I hear you saying that you're worried about
finances, and that's why you've been working
late."

Avoid passing judgment. Let him finish what
he's saying before you respond. After he's
done talking, offer a solution. For instance,
say, "I'm willing to live on a tighter budget if
that means that I get to see you more often."

2. Pick your battles.Some issues are worth
fighting about, and some aren't. If you spend
all of your time nitpicking your husband about
minor problems that don't really matter, then
he's not going to listen to you when major
issues come up.

Criticism can destroy a relationship. As long
as the dishes are clean and unbroken, for
instance, don't nag your husband about how
to load the dishwasher "the right way." Let
him do things his own way. Don't sweat the
small stuff.

Avoid criticizing your husband without doing
it constructively. Remember to try and be calm
and rational, as strong emotions can easily
turn a discussion into an argument. If you
criticize every little thing he does, then he will
quickly tune you out.

You should praise your husband for the
things he does right much more than you
argue with him about things that he does
wrong. This will make him much more likely to
listen to you, and much happier to be around
you.

3. Be understanding when you discuss an
issue with your husband.Fight right. Don't let
anger take over because it may cause you to
say things that you will regret later.

Even when
you don't agree with your husband, you need
to respect his opinion and his viewpoint. To
be a good wife, you need to understand that
you may never agree on certain issues. No
couple has an identical set of morals and
beliefs, which means that both of you will
need to learn to cope with occasions where
you just can't resolve your opinions.

Talk to him at the right time. Don't just
spring your problems on him whenever. Avoid
bringing up problems before dinner, while
he's paying bills or when he's immersed in a
stressful situation, like fixing a problem with
your car. And never, ever start an argument in
front of your children.

When you're wrong, admit it. You need to
learn to respond to arguments and remain
rational so you can recognize and apologize
when you've made a misstep.

4 .Talk to your husband, not about
him.Never talk to your friends or your family
and say negative things about your husband if
you're not communicating with him first.

Talking about your husband behind his back is
disloyal. When you get married, your first
loyalty is to your partner, not to your birth
family or your social group.

Complaining about your husband to your
friends and family will not only not solve any
of your problems, but it will also make them
view your relationship in a more negative
light.

Your friends and family may think they know
what's best for you, but they don't know your
relationship as well as you do and may
unintentionally give you bad advice.