LOVE JOKES

Joke 1: The 46 Year Old Man
A 46yr old man gets a facelift for his birthday.when he left he went to the newspaper stand an asked how old do i look. he replied 26 , the man said thanks but im 46. he thenwent to a butcher's shop asked the same question, the butcher said 29 the old man said thanks but im 46, he thenwent and asked a old women how old do i look, she said im 88yrs old and have a bad eyesight but i can tell how old someone is by putting my hand down their trousers for 15 minutes. the man accepted and let her have a feel . 15 minutes later she took her hand out and said your 46 , the man said thats amazing hodid you know, she replied i was behind you in the butcher's shop


Joke 2: The Seven o'Clock Rule
A couple were married and, following the wedding, the husband laid down some rules."I'll be home when I want, if I want, and at what time I want,"he insisted. "And, I don't expect any hassle from you. Also, I expect a decent meal tobe on the table every evening, unless I tell you otherwise. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing, and card-playing with my buddies whenever I want. Those are my rules," he said. "Any comments?" His new bride replied, "No, that's fine with me. But, just understand that there'll be sex here at seven o'clock every night... whether you're here or not."