AKPOS WITH A PREGNANT MAID

The following conversation ensued between
Akpos and his wife:
Wife: Our maid is pregnant….
Akpos: That’s her problem
Wife: Neighbours are talking…
Akpos: That’s their problem..
Wife: I’m worried
Akpos: That’s your problem
Wife: They say it’s yours
Akpos: That’s my problem..!!!

AKPOS AS A LAW STUDENT

When Akpos was studying law at the University
College of London, a white professor, whose
last name was Peters, disliked him intensely
and always displayed prejudice and animosity
towards him.

Also, because Akpos never lowered his head
when addressing him as he expected, there
were always “arguments” and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the
dining room of the University, and Akpos came
along with his tray and sat next to the
professor. The professor said, “Mr Akpos, you
do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit
together to eat.”
Akpos looked at him as a parent would a rude
child and calmly replied, “You do not worry
professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at
another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take
revenge on the next test paper, but Akpos
responded brilliantly to all questions.

Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him
the following question. “Mr Akpos, if you were
walking down the street and found a package,
and within was a bag of wisdom and another
bag with a lot of money, which one would you
take?”

Without hesitating, Akpos responded, “The one
with the money, of course.”
Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your
place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you
think?”
Akpos shrugged indifferently and responded,
“Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So
great was his anger that he wrote on Akpos’
exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to
Akpos.
Akpos took the exam sheet and sat down at his
desk, trying very hard to remain calm while he
contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Akpos got up, went to the
professor and said to him in a dignified but
sarcastically polite tone, “Mr. Peters, you signed
the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

Akpos At The Hospital

Akpos is ill and goes to the doctor and
describes his illness…
AKPOS: Doctor, I am always feeling weak.
DOCTOR: (gives him a medicine) You must
always take four tea-spoonful of this medicine
before every meal.
AKPOS: Ok Doctor, but there is one problem.
DOCTOR: What’s the problem?
AKPOS: I have only three spoons at home.

Akpos Has being Kidnapped

Akpos was abducted by kidnappers and taken
to an unknown location.
The kidnappers beat him for a while and asked
him, “Which of your family members should we
call to pay the ransom.”

A surprised Akpos replied: “I don’t have a
family now. All my family members ran away
after I was suddenly bugged down with fever,
intense weakness, muscle pain, headache and
sore throat. This was followed by vomiting,
diarrhoea, rash…
Akpos did not even finish speaking before all
the kidnappers jumped out of windows
and fled.

AKPOS AS A LAW STUDENT

When Akpos was studying law at the University
College of London, a white professor, whose
last name was Peters, disliked him intensely
and always displayed prejudice and animosity
towards him.

Also, because Akpos never lowered his head
when addressing him as he expected, there
were always “arguments” and confrontations.
One day, Mr. Peters was having lunch at the
dining room of the University, and Akpos came
along with his tray and sat next to the
professor. The professor said, “Mr Akpos, you
do not understand. A pig and a bird do not sit
together to eat.”
Akpos looked at him as a parent would a rude
child and calmly replied, “You do not worry
professor. I’ll fly away,” and he went and sat at
another table.
Mr. Peters, reddened with rage, decided to take
revenge on the next test paper, but Akpos
responded brilliantly to all questions.

Mr. Peters, unhappy and frustrated, asked him
the following question. “Mr Akpos, if you were
walking down the street and found a package,
and within was a bag of wisdom and another
bag with a lot of money, which one would you
take?”

Without hesitating, Akpos responded, “The one
with the money, of course.”
Mr. Peters , smiling sarcastically said, “I, in your
place, would have taken the wisdom, don’t you
think?”
Akpos shrugged indifferently and responded,
“Each one takes what he doesn’t have.”

Mr. Peters, by this time was fit to be tied. So
great was his anger that he wrote on Akpos’
exam sheet the word “idiot” and gave it to
Akpos.
Akpos took the exam sheet and sat down at his
desk, trying very hard to remain calm while he
contemplated his next move.

A few minutes later, Akpos got up, went to the
professor and said to him in a dignified but
sarcastically polite tone, “Mr. Peters, you signed
the sheet, but you did not give me the grade.”

Akpos At American Embassy

Akpos went to the American Embassy for a
student visa, and the process of his interview
with the white lady went this way
White Lady: what are you going to the USA for?
Akpos: To study.
White Lady: Which city, school and which
course do you wish to study?
Akpos: Chicago, Economics and Statistics. These
are my admission documents.
White Lady: But there are many Universities in
GHANA that offer this course and you still want
to travel as far as USA to study the same
course why? I doubt your genuine intention
and therefore can’t give you the entry visa that
you have applied for.
Akpos: (In anger) please give me back my
passport let me get out of this place. what do
you think is in USA that is not in GHANA, what
do you think that I will see in USA that we
don’t have in GHANA here?

Do you think that
USA is in any way better than this country and
if you think that USA is better than GHANA,
then why have you chosen to stay in GHANA
instead of your country America?
White Lady: (with serious anger and love for
her dear country stood up and said to him):

Look I’m gonna give you entry visa to USA so
that you gonna travel to America and see what
is in USA… the difference between America and
GHANA. (out off anger, she stamped the visa
for Akpos).

Degree classification

A degree may be awarded with or without honours, with the class of an honours degree based on a weighted average mark of the assessed work a candidate has completed.

The degree classifications are:
◾First-class honours (1st)
◾Second-class honours, upper division (2:1)
◾Second-class honours, lower division (2:2)
◾Third-class honours (3rd)
◾Ordinary degree (pass)

CAN I KISS YOU JOKE

Boy drops girl at home, he puts his hand
on d wall by the gate for support, leans
towards her

BOY: Can I kiss you?

GIRL: Not now, I'm at home.

BOY: Please.

GIRL: No.

BOY: You were too sweet in bed
today.

GIRL: Waoh! you too, full of energy. I
could not believe we had for rounds.

BOY: Let me kiss you good night.

GIRL: Someone may be watching, they
still think I'm a virgin at home.

This goes on for ten minutes, then girl's
brother appears at the gate and says
"Dad says whether you kiss him or not
its your decision, but tell that bastard to
remove his hand from the intercom
button, everyone at home is listening to
your conversation"

I keep wondering when a lady shall

1. drive or work down to a guy office n
take him out for launch

2. send a recharge card of about 2500 n
call him brk to ask if he as seen it

3. request for her guy bank account
Nums just to pay in her salary for de
month to de guy
4. Keep buying provisions for de guy wit
her own money for months

5. Take his guy out to Ibom tropicana n
pay for his movie time or even take him
to dat corner behind museum pack for
him to enjoy de ishewo

6. even hand over her car key (if any) n
bank details to her guy n even to de
extend of engaging his guy n still end up
respecting de guy like never be for.

FEW LOVE WORDS

In life you’ll realize there is a purpose
for everyone you meet. Some will test
you, some will use you, and some will
teach you. But most importantly, some
will bring out the best in you.

.Keep people in your life who truly love
you, motivate you, encourage you,
enhance you, and make you happy. If
you know people who do none of these
things, let them go.

.Love is not about sex, going on fancy
dates, or showing off. It’s about being
with a person who makes you happy in a
way nobody else can.

POWER OF TOUCH

Too often we underestimate the power
of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a
listening ear, an honest compliment, or
the smallest act of caring – all of which
have the potential to turn a life around.
The most beautiful thing is to see a
person you love smiling. And even more
beautiful is knowing that you are the
reason behind it.

FIVE LOVE FACTS

1. If it's because of her eyes or her lips
or her great body.
-It's not love, it's a LUST

2. If it's because of her intelligence or
insight about life.
-it's not love, it's an ADMIRATION

3. If it's because she cries everytime u
try to leave.
-it's not love, it's PITY.

4. If it's because she makes u forget 2
study and sleep.
-it's not love, it's INFATUATION.

5. LOVE - is when you don't know why
you seem to be attracted to that person..
Love has no reason.

LOVE TIPS

A silent hug means a thousand words to
the unhappy heart.
.Don’t mess with someone’s feelings just
because you’re unsure of yours.
.True happiness comes from within, not
from someone else. Don’t make the
mistake of waiting on someone or
something to come along and make you
happy.
.Don’t choose the one who is beautiful
to the world, choose the one who makes
your world beautiful.
.If you feel like your ship is sinking, it
might be a good time to throw out the
stuff that’s been weighing it down. Let
go of people who bring you down, and
surround yourself with those who bring
out the best in you.
.Just because it didn’t last forever,
doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth your while.
.Say what you mean and mean what you
say. Don’t expect others to read your
mind, and don’t play games with their
heads and hearts. Don’t tell half-truths
and expect people to trust you when the
full truth comes out. Half-truths are no
better than lies. And don’t ignore
someone you care about, because lack of
concern hurts more than angry words.
.Lies help no one in the long run. So…
1) Don’t say “I love you” if you don’t
mean it. 2) Don’t say “I understand” if
you have no clue. 3) Don’t say “I’m
sorry” if you’re not. 4) Be honest with
yourself and your loved ones.
.Tell the truth, or eventually someone
will tell it for you.

The Laws of Power

Law 1
Never Outshine the Master
Always make those above you feel
comfortably superior.In your desire to
please or impress them, do not go too
far in displaying your talents or you
might accomplish the opposite – inspire
fear and insecurity.Make your masters
appear more brilliant than they are and
you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2
Never put too Much Trust in Friends,
Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you
more quickly, for they are easily aroused
to envy.They also become spoiled and
tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and
he will be more loyal than a friend,
because he has more to prove.In fact,
you have more to fear from friends than
from enemies.If you have no enemies,
find a way to make them.

Law 3
Conceal your Intentions
Keep people off-balance and in the dark
by never revealing the purpose behind
your actions.If they have no clue what
you are up to, they cannot prepare a
defense.Guide them far enough down
the wrong path, envelope them in
enough smoke, and by the time they
realize your intentions, it will be too
late.

Law 4
Always Say Less than Necessary
When you are trying to impress people
with words, the more you say, the more
common you appear, and the less in
control.Even if you are saying something
banal, it will seem original if you make it
vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike.Powe
rful people impress and intimidate by
saying less.The more you say, the more
likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5
So Much Depends on Reputation –
Guard it with your Life
Reputation is the cornerstone of
power.Through reputation alone you
can intimidate and win; once you slip,
however, you are vulnerable, and will be
attacked on all sides.Make your
reputation unassailable.Always be alert
to potential attacks and thwart them
before they happen.Meanwhile, learn to
destroy your enemies by opening holes
in their own reputations.Then stand
aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6
Court Attention at all Cost
Everything is judged by its appearance;
what is unseen counts for nothing.Never
let yourself get lost in the crowd, then,
or buried in oblivion.Stand out.Be
conspicuous, at all cost.Make yourself a
magnet of attention by appearing larger,
more colorful, more mysterious, than
the bland and timid masses.

Law 7
Get others to do the Work for you, but
Always Take the Credit
Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork
of other people to further your own
cause.Not only will such assistance save
you valuable time and energy, it will give
you a godlike aura of efficiency and
speed.In the end your helpers will be
forgotten and you will be
remembered.Never do yourself what
others can do for you.

Law 8
Make other People come to you – use
Bait if Necessary
When you force the other person to act,
you are the one in control.It is always
better to make your opponent come to
you, abandoning his own plans in the
process.Lure him with fabulous gains –
then attack.You hold the cards.

Law 9
Win through your Actions, Never
through Argument
Any momentary triumph you think
gained through argument is really a
Pyrrhic victory:The resentment and ill
will you stir up is stronger and lasts
longer than any momentary change of
opinion.It is much more powerful to get
others to agree with you through your
actions, without saying a
word.Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10
Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and
Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery
– emotional states are as infectious as
disease.You may feel you are helping the
drowning man but you are only
precipitating your own disaster.The
unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune
on themselves; they will also draw it on
you.Associate with the happy and
fortunate instead.

Law 11
Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain your independence you
must always be needed and wanted.The
more you are relied on, the more
freedom you have.Make people depend
on you for their happiness and
prosperity and you have nothing to
fear.Never teach them enough so that
they can do without you.

Law 12
Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to
Disarm your Victim
One sincere and honest move will cover
over dozens of dishonest ones.Open-
hearted gestures of honesty and
generosity bring down the guard of even
the most suspicious people.Once your
selective honesty opens a hole in their
armor, you can deceive and manipulate
them at will.A timely gift – a Trojan
horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13
When Asking for Help, Appeal to
People’s Self-Interest,
Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
If you need to turn to an ally for help,
do not bother to remind him of your
past assistance and good deeds.He will
find a way to ignore you.Instead,
uncover something in your request, or
in your alliance with him, that will
benefit him, and emphasize it out of all
proportion.He will respond
enthusiastically when he sees something
to be gained for himself.

The Laws of Power

Law 1
Never Outshine the Master
Always make those above you feel
comfortably superior.In your desire to
please or impress them, do not go too
far in displaying your talents or you
might accomplish the opposite – inspire
fear and insecurity.Make your masters
appear more brilliant than they are and
you will attain the heights of power.

Law 2
Never put too Much Trust in Friends,
Learn how to use Enemies
Be wary of friends-they will betray you
more quickly, for they are easily aroused
to envy.They also become spoiled and
tyrannical. But hire a former enemy and
he will be more loyal than a friend,
because he has more to prove.In fact,
you have more to fear from friends than
from enemies.If you have no enemies,
find a way to make them.

Law 3
Conceal your Intentions
Keep people off-balance and in the dark
by never revealing the purpose behind
your actions.If they have no clue what
you are up to, they cannot prepare a
defense.Guide them far enough down
the wrong path, envelope them in
enough smoke, and by the time they
realize your intentions, it will be too
late.

Law 4
Always Say Less than Necessary
When you are trying to impress people
with words, the more you say, the more
common you appear, and the less in
control.Even if you are saying something
banal, it will seem original if you make it
vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike.Powe
rful people impress and intimidate by
saying less.The more you say, the more
likely you are to say something foolish.

Law 5
So Much Depends on Reputation –
Guard it with your Life
Reputation is the cornerstone of
power.Through reputation alone you
can intimidate and win; once you slip,
however, you are vulnerable, and will be
attacked on all sides.Make your
reputation unassailable.Always be alert
to potential attacks and thwart them
before they happen.Meanwhile, learn to
destroy your enemies by opening holes
in their own reputations.Then stand
aside and let public opinion hang them.

Law 6
Court Attention at all Cost
Everything is judged by its appearance;
what is unseen counts for nothing.Never
let yourself get lost in the crowd, then,
or buried in oblivion.Stand out.Be
conspicuous, at all cost.Make yourself a
magnet of attention by appearing larger,
more colorful, more mysterious, than
the bland and timid masses.

Law 7
Get others to do the Work for you, but
Always Take the Credit
Use the wisdom, knowledge, and legwork
of other people to further your own
cause.Not only will such assistance save
you valuable time and energy, it will give
you a godlike aura of efficiency and
speed.In the end your helpers will be
forgotten and you will be
remembered.Never do yourself what
others can do for you.

Law 8
Make other People come to you – use
Bait if Necessary
When you force the other person to act,
you are the one in control.It is always
better to make your opponent come to
you, abandoning his own plans in the
process.Lure him with fabulous gains –
then attack.You hold the cards.

Law 9
Win through your Actions, Never
through Argument
Any momentary triumph you think
gained through argument is really a
Pyrrhic victory:The resentment and ill
will you stir up is stronger and lasts
longer than any momentary change of
opinion.It is much more powerful to get
others to agree with you through your
actions, without saying a
word.Demonstrate, do not explicate.

Law 10
Infection: Avoid the Unhappy and
Unlucky
You can die from someone else’s misery
– emotional states are as infectious as
disease.You may feel you are helping the
drowning man but you are only
precipitating your own disaster.The
unfortunate sometimes draw misfortune
on themselves; they will also draw it on
you.Associate with the happy and
fortunate instead.

Law 11
Learn to Keep People Dependent on You
To maintain your independence you
must always be needed and wanted.The
more you are relied on, the more
freedom you have.Make people depend
on you for their happiness and
prosperity and you have nothing to
fear.Never teach them enough so that
they can do without you.

Law 12
Use Selective Honesty and Generosity to
Disarm your Victim
One sincere and honest move will cover
over dozens of dishonest ones.Open-
hearted gestures of honesty and
generosity bring down the guard of even
the most suspicious people.Once your
selective honesty opens a hole in their
armor, you can deceive and manipulate
them at will.A timely gift – a Trojan
horse – will serve the same purpose.

Law 13
When Asking for Help, Appeal to
People’s Self-Interest,
Never to their Mercy or Gratitude
If you need to turn to an ally for help,
do not bother to remind him of your
past assistance and good deeds.He will
find a way to ignore you.Instead,
uncover something in your request, or
in your alliance with him, that will
benefit him, and emphasize it out of all
proportion.He will respond
enthusiastically when he sees something
to be gained for himself.

The Ten New Laws of Love

At the Heart of Our Teachings: Ten
natural "new" laws of love -- perhaps the
most powerful breakup-prevention
program available today. We hope they
move you by what is truly possible, and
inspire you to begin creating your own
NewCouple.

Chemistry: The First New Law of Love
Chemistry is the magic, the special
energies that signal partners possess the
raw material for success. Chemistry is
not optional because it provides the
synergy couples need to get through the
rapids of relationship -- and keep them
high on course to their grandest goals.

Priority: The Second New Law of Love
Priority is a couple's commitment to
keep the health of their relationship
front and central. It asks partners to
begin to psychologically "leave the nest"
of their first families -- and to address
any compulsions and addictions,
including codependence -- in order to
be fully available to their second family.

Emotional Integrity: The Third New Law
of Love
Emotional Integrity asks partners to
create an "emotional safe zone" with
each other. They do this by taking
responsibility for their feelings --
especially by learning the difference
between "acting them out" and
expressing them healthily. This law also
guides partners in identifying and
healing blind spots and "buttons" that
cause disharmony in all relationships.

Deep Listening: The Fourth New Law of
Love
Deep Listening is the greatest act of love
-- and a skill. It is partners' ability to
hear each other's words, and the
feelings underneath, with compassion
and empathy.

Equality: The Fifth New Law of Love
Equality is about fairness and respect. It
involves acknowledging power
imbalances in the relationship and helps
partners see through the tyranny of
unnegotiated -- and often antiquated --
roles, responsibilities and unconscious
expectations.

Peacemaking: The Sixth New Law of Love
Peacemaking is a couple's commitment
to maintain their emotional safe zone
through the use of anger management
and conflict resolution tools and New
Couple agreements.

Self-Love: The Seventh New Law of Love
Relationship landmines are precise
gauges of pockets of low self-love and
unfinished emotional business from
childhood. This law teaches partners
how to deeply defuse conflict and fall
back in love with everyone.

Mission in Life: The Eighth New Law of
Love
This law teaches that true love cannot be
sustained until both parties are on some
level engaged in his or her own true
work. Mission in Life is partners'
commitment to the fulfillment of their
own and the other's life purpose.
Intimates are either a mission's most
powerful support or its most formidable
saboteur.

Walking: The Ninth New Law of Love
Walking involves addressing the primary
insecurities that plague all partners,
because emotional and financial
dependencies can mean slow death -- of
respect, trust and passion. When
intimates are willing and able to leave
the relationship if need be, it's their best
insurance that they won't!

Transformational Education: The Tenth
New Law of Love
Transformational Education is the fail-
safe mechanism of the Ten New Laws of
Love. It represents partners'
commitment to do whatever learning
and healing is necessary if they get stuck
on any of the first nine laws.

1. Chemistry:
The First New Law of Love
2. Priority:
The Second New Law of Love
3. Emotional Integrity:
The Third New Law of Love
4. Deep Listening:
The Fourth New Law of Love
5. Equality:
The Fifth New Law of Love
6. Peacemaking:
The Sixth New Law of Love
7. Self-Love:
The Seventh New Law of Love
8. Mission in Life:
The Eighth New Law of Love
9. Walking:
The Ninth New Law of Love
10. Transformational Education:
The Tenth New Law of Love

How to Make a Woman Happy

1.Respect Her:The most important thing,
the thing you should always do even if
you don't do anything else, is to respect
her.

Basically: treat her the way that you
would expect to be treated. When you
love someone, that's the most important
thing for you to do. There cannot be true
love without respect.

*.Value her opinions, give her the
chance to speak her mind, never
demean her or insult her, don't judge
her, understand and appreciate her for
who she is, be honest with her, etc.

2. Remove the conditions for your love.A
big part of respecting her is stepping
back and empowering her to make
decisions for herself. Make sure she
knows, even if you have to tell her every
day, that you love her no matter what
choices she makes for herself. Her
choices are what make her who she is.
When a man makes his love conditional
on the choices that a woman makes to
please him, he's really just loving
himself. And a good woman deserves
more than that.

*.Don't make her feel like she has to
choose between making you feel happy
and taking a job that makes her feel
fulfilled. Don't make her feel like she has
to choose between you finding her
attractive and the massive discomfort
associated with pubic shaving or waxing.
These are the kinds of decisions that she
should know you're going to have her
back on, no matter the outcome.

3 Listen to her.Don't just be quiet when
she's talking, actuallylistento her. Active
listening involves asking questions and
really responding to what she's saying.
This tells her that you're really paying
attention, but it also helps you focus
more and remember what she's saying.

*.Sometimes when you hear someone
telling you about a problem (or anything
really), you might feel the need to just
jump right in and say something or offer
solutions. This is probably not what that
persons needs, though. When someone
tells you about their feelings (regardless
of their gender), what they need is to be
heard, so just listen. When they're done,
they might ask you for advice. If they
don't ask, you can kindly offer. Just
acknowledge how she feels, don't take
control of the conversation.

4 Don't be a jerk.Take full responsibility
for what comes out of your mouth, as
well as how you choose to interpret what
you hear. When you make a mistake,
own up to it and work to make it better.
Don't be selfish in your interactions or
your relationship as a whole.

*.Avoid common non-apologies like "I'm
sorry that your feelings got hurt". This is
a common way to make women
unhappy.

*.Even if you did something that you feel
is normal, like looking at a pretty
waitress, and your girl gets mad at you,
you still have to realize that that action
hurt her feelings. Whether you'd cheat
on her or not, the burden of doubt is
heavy and can kill a woman's ability to
enjoy being with you.

5 Never take her for granted.Appreciate
everything she does for you and let her
know that you appreciate everything that
she does for you. Never assume that
she's stuck with you, or think that just
because she loves you you don't have to
work to deserve her anymore. You can
get away with letting yourself go
physically, but you should never let
yourself go emotionally. The second you
start taking her for granted is the second
she starts looking at other guys.

6 Don't be a burden.This is the fastest
way to make a woman lose interest in
you. You don't want to be another
"child" to take care of. You're her man,
not her son. This means that you need
to be an adult, be reliable, and be
responsible. Take care of yourself
financially, help out around the house,
be there for her when she needs help,
and make good on the promises you
make.

7 Be loyal.Women that you're with aren't
impressed by you being smooth with
other ladies, and planting the seeds of
distrust in her mind will only make her
worry that you're a jerk, even if you
never cheat on her. Be loyal and don't
give her any reason to doubt you.

*.Spend time with her more than any
other woman, don't look at or comment
on other women, and make her
happiness your priority.

*.You should also stop putting on the
show of attracting other women. Don't
wear clothes that are designed to appeal
to other women. Just wear what you
know she likes. You have a woman
already, so you shouldn't be worried
about others wanting you, right?

8 Pay attention!Notice what she says and
does. Pay attention to when she says
she "wishes" something or talks about
wanting to do something. You should
also pay attention to how she chooses to
spend her time. This will help you
understand what's important to her. Just
like some things that are important to
you are boring to her, you're going to
have to at least understand some things
that don't matter to you. Plus, you never
know when you might miss something
that's actually very important.

MATURITY IN A RELATIONSHIP

Maturity is not age. It is the ability to do
the right
thing at the right time and at the right
place. It is
the ability to think wisely.

Maturity is needed to make a
relationship last.

The reason there are many breakups is
due to
either lack of maturity of the two
partners or lack
of maturity of one of the partners.
Maturity in a relationship includes the
following:

1. Maturity is the ability to tolerate your
partner. A
mature person ignores some bad
characters of
his/her partner. Nobody is perfect.
Overlook
some minor behaviours of your partner.
A mature
person does not quit a relationship over
a slight
provocation.

2. Maturity is the ability to control your
anger. A
mature person does not react instantly
to an
anger. Any decision you take when angry
can be
very dangerous.
Calm down. Allow your anger cool down
before
you act. This is maturity.

3. Maturity is the ability to open to your
partner
and express your feelings whenever he/
she
offends you. Keeping malice or grudges
does not
portray any sense of maturity.

4. Maturity is the ability to forgive your
partner
when he/she offends you and
apologises.
Let us apply this to our relationship. It
will help to
ensure that we have a happy
relationship.

What Do Women Want From Men in a Relationship?

What Do Women Want From
Men in a Relationship?
A woman may want many things in a
man,
but if there are a few things that make a
difference, this is it. So what do women
want from men?

WHATEVER you give a WOMAN, she will MAKE it GREATER.

WHATEVER you give a WOMAN, she will
MAKE it
GREATER. Give her SPERM, she will give
you a
BABY.
Give her a HOUSE, she will give you a
HOME. Give
her
GROCERIES, she will give you a MEAL.
Give her
LOVE,
and she will give you her HEART! She
MULTIPLIES
and
ENLARGES what she is GIVEN. So, if you
GIVE her
CRAP,
be PREPARED to RECEIVE a ton of SHIT!

28 LOVE THOUGHTS

1. u cannot make someone love u. All
you can
do is be someone who can be loved. The
rest
is up to them.
2. no matter how much u care, some
people
just don’t care back.
3. it takes years to build up trust, and
only
seconds to destroy it.
4. no matter how good a friend is,
they’re
going to hurt you every once in a while
and
you must forgive them for that.
5. it’s not what you have in your
life but who you have in your life
that counts.
6. you should never ruin an
apology with an excuse.
7. you shouldn’t compare yourself to the
best
others can do.
8. you can do
something in an instant that will give
you
heartache for life.
9. you should always leave loved
ones with loving words. It may be
the last time you see them.
10. we are responsible for
what we do, no matter how we you feel.
11. either you control your
attitude or it controls you
.
12. regardless of how hot and steamy a
relationship is at first, the passion
fades and there had better be
something else to take its place.
13. heroes are the people who do
what has to be done when it needs to
be
done, regardless of the
consequences.
14. money is a lousy way of
keeping score.
15. my best friend and I can
do anything or nothing and have
the best time.
16. sometimes the people you
expect to kick you when you’re down
will be the ones to help you get back up.
17. sometimes when I’m angry, i
have the right to be angry, but that
doesn’t give me the right to be
cruel.
18. true friendship
continues to grow, even over the
longest distance. Same goes for true
love.
19. just because someone
doesn’t love you the way you want
them to doesn’t mean they don’t
love you with all they have.
20. maturity has more to do
with what types of experiences
you’ve had and what you’ve
learned from them and less to do with
how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
21. you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or out
landish. Few things are more
humiliating, and what a tragedy it
would be if they believed it.
22. your family won’t always be
there for you. It may seem funny,
but people you aren’t related to can take
care
of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren’t only biological.
23. it isn’t always enough to
be forgiven by others. Sometimes you
are to
learn to forgive yourself.
24. no matter
how bad your heart is broken the world
doesn’t stop for your grief.
25. our background and
circumstances may have influenced
who we are, but we are responsible
for who we become
.
26. a rich person is not the
one who has the most, but is one
who needs the least
.
27. just because two
people argue, it doesn’t mean they
don’t love each other. And just because
they
don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
28. we don’t have to change
friends if we understand that no matter
how
beautiful or handsome we are, some
pple will
stil hate us

BASIC RULES OF DATING

There
are some basic rules of dating I wish to
share
with
you
1. thou shall not date a guy who is not
into
you as
much as you are into him. This is bad in
all
aspect
and trust me it hardly ends well for you.
A
man
should be crazily in luv with you. A
woman
don’t
need to love so much for the
relationship to
succeed
but a man really needs to luv. Even the
bible
said
men love, women submit. Don’t forget
that,
its his
duty to really luv u
2.thou shall not date bad boys. They are
called bad
boys for a reason. Don’t go around
hoping you
can
change him, don’t even go down that
lane.
You cant
force people to change, they change
when
they want
to, for reasons best known to them
3. thou shall not date someone in love
with
someone
else. It doesn’t matter how much he
says he
luv you
and how deeply u luv him too.. but
when he
has got
a woman, whom he cant let go or maybe
she
is even
his ex already but he cant seem to get
her out
of the
picture, always talking about her. still
calls her
frequently behind your back, Don’t
waste your
time,
move on.

BOYFRIENDS

As a boyfriend, you're supposed to tell
these
other girls who try to flirt with you
"Sorry, I
got a girlfriend. Stop talking to me like
that".
As a boyfriend, you're supposed to let
these
other girls know when they're crossing
the
line. As a boyfriend, you're supposed to
know
to not talk to girls who flirt with you
knowing
you have a girlfriend already.
As a boyfriend,
you gotta keep your relationship private
but
at least not keep your girlfriend a secret
so
people would know she exists.
As a boyfriend,
you're supposed to keep yourself out of
situations that involves other girls which
could
ruin your relationship.
As a boyfriend, you're
supposed to tell these girls to respect
your
relationship when they try to be
home wreckers.
As a boyfriend, you're
supposed to be showing your girl off so
these
other girls can see that you're proud to
have
her and you're happy to be with her.

THE MEANING OF I LOVE YOU

"I love you" has lost a lot of its meaning.
Nowadays
people say I love you just like they are
saying
hello.
Love is nothing without action. When
you can't
believe
your ears, you can always trust your
heart. If
you
have
someone that loves you...appreciate it.
Because
ever
since sex started becoming easier to get,
love
started
becoming harder to find.

KEEP THE LOVE STRONGER

No matter how much you fight with her
or
she fights with you, don’t use harsh or
abusive
words to disrespecther.Don’t even use
your
anger or attitude to calm her down.
None of
these will work on her when she is angry
and
annoyed. But you can handle her
perfectly
with your love. So just forget every damn
thing that happened between the both
of
you…and just hold her hand..look into
her
eyes , kiss her forehead and hug her
tightly..she will forget everything and
melt in
your arms and love you back much more
than
you can ever imagine… °

THE GIRL YOU DATE AND THE WOMAN YOU MARRY.

1. The girl you date does not want to
meet
your family or friends, she wants you all
to
herself.The woman you marry wants to
know
your family and friends. She knows
without
them, you would not be where you are,
and
who you are today.
2. The girl you date is overly worried
about
her nails been done all the time, her
eyelashes looking in a certain style, and
being
beautiful for her peers. Her physical
beauty is
important to her.The woman you marry
is not
overly worried about her nails being
done.
Instead, she is worried about being
beautiful
for her man, even if that means wearing
no
makeup. She focuses on her internal
beauty
and character building, because she
knows
real beauty comes from within.
3. The girl you date only cares about her
career and her vision for life. She comes
before the relationship, and does not
make
her future plans with you in mind.The
woman
you marry cares about your career and
your
vision of life as well as her own. She
knows
you also have a plan, and works together
with
you to achieve the goals you both have.
The
marriage is her priority.
4. The girl you date loves the financial
cushion
you can
provide. She also expects something
back
whenever she gives.The woman you
marry
wants to build a financial cushion with
you.
She believes that two heads will always
be
better than one. When she gives, she
does
not expect anything back.
5. The girl you date believes she knows
everything.The
woman you marry is open to learning
something new, and knows there is
always
room for improvement.
6. The girl you date is scared to tell you
her
deepest
secrets.The woman you marry will share
her
deepest secrets with you, even if it
means
losing you. She trusts you, and shares
everything with you. She knows honesty
is
always the best policy.
7. The girl you date does not get excited
about marriage and children (even if she
wants to have some one day). The
woman you
marry gets excited about marriage and
starting a family with you.
8. The girl you date shows her cleavage
all the
time.The woman you marry is more
modest
because she knows her attributes are for
your
eyes only.
9. The girl you date is not concerned
about
cooking for you.The woman you marry
loves
not only to cook, but chooses delicious
and
healthy meals. The way to a man’s heart
is
through his stomach after all, right?
10. The girl you date is overly concerned
about how long you will be around, and
how
she can keep you.The woman you marry
is
not too concerned about keeping you
because
she knows you want to have a future
with her.
She is mature enough to know you can
never
force someone to stay and that you each
have
to choose each other every day, again
and
again.
11. The girl you date is not willing to
compromise with
you.The woman you marry is willing to
compromise, and sees compromise as a
necessity for a healthy marriage
12. The girl you date thrives on constant
attention from you.The woman you
marry
mirrors your affection and thrives on
providing you with the love, support,
and
respect you need.
13. The girl you date tries to change who
you
are and
compares you to her ex.The woman you
marry accepts you for who you are and
will
not compare you to her ex. She knows
you
are the best and that you cannot change
another person no matter how hard you
try.
14. The girl you date has to be
entertained.The woman you marry is
someone you can have fun with, relax,
do
activities, or do nothing together and
still
enjoy each other’s company.

Federal Polytechnic, Nekede Post-UTME

Attention! Attention!! Attention!!! Federal Polytechnic, Nekede will conduct its
Post-UTME
Screening for the 2014/2015 Admission exercise
from
Thursday 2nd October - Wednesday 8th
October, 2014 as follows: DAY OF SCREENING DEPARTMENT
Thursday, 2nd October
Science Laboratory Tech. Friday, 3rd October
Accountancy,
Business Administration,
Banking & Finance,
Cooperative & Economics Management. Saturday, 4th October
Mass Communication,
Library & Information Science,
Office Technology and Management,
Purchasing and Supply,
Marketing, Public Administration. Monday, 6th October
Computer Science,
Fisheries Technology,
Statistics,
Food Technology,
Architecture, Quantity Surveying,
Urban & Regional Planning,
Surveying & Geo-Informatics,
Estate Management,
Building Technology. Tuesday, 7th October
Agric. Engineering,
Chemical Engineering,
Civil Engineering,
Computer Engineering
Electrical & Electronic Engineering, Mechanical Engineering. Wednesday, 8th October
Higher National Diploma (Science & Business) Accreditation of candidates begins at 8.00am
prompt

NAMES OF THOSE WHO EMERGED AS WINNERS ON THE JUST CONCLUDED FUTO SUG ELECTION.......

Olom Sunday-DOS PMT
Nnajiofor Fabian-sports IMT
Njoku Jane-ASG hon. POT
Nriaka Francess-Treasurer CHE
Austine Chima-welfare PET
Utonwa Michael Ezeaku-DOT
FAT
Henry Nwadialor-finsec PTE
Uchechukwu Prince-sec-gen
TMT
Chukwu Purity- v.p ICH
O.D.E-President PTE

Some members of Boko Haram surrender to Nigerian troops

Some Boko Haram members surrendered to
Nigerian troops yesterday September
21st at Kawuri in Borno state

SMART DAD AND DAUGHTER

A girl was with her
father when she
saw her boyfriend
coming
GIRL: Have you come
to collect your book
titled "DADDY IS AT
HOME?" by Ngozi
Okafor
BOY: No, I want that
your hymns book
called "WHERE
SHOULD I WAIT FOR
YOU?"
GIRL: I don't have
that one but may
be you should take
the other one titled
"UNDER THE MANGO
TREE" by
Chimamanda Adichie
BOY: Fine, but don't
forget to bring "I
WILL CALL YOU IN 5
MINUTES" while
coming to school
GIRL: I will also bring
you a new one too
titled"I WON'T LET
YOU DOWN" by
Chinua Achebe
Then;
DAD: Those books
are too many, will
he read them all
GIRL: Yes dad, he is
very smart &
intelligent
DAD: Okay don't
forget to give him
the one on the table
titled "I AM NOT
STUPID, I
UNDERSTOOD
EVERYTHING YOU'VE
BEEN SAYING" by
Shakespeare! And
also the one on the
dinning table titled
"IF YOU GET
PREGNANT PREPARE
TO GET MARRIED"
by Wole Soyinka
Hahahaha..... common
don't leave it there
pass it on because
you never know
who needed just a
smile.

FUTO UTME MERIT LIST RELEASED

FUTO UTME MERIT LIST has been
released, and text messages have been
sent to successful candidates via their
phone numbers.

However, all candidates can visit
FUTO website to check their admission
status as follows:
(i) Go to http://utme.futo.edu.ng/student/MyResult.aspx
(ii) Enter your UTME (Jamb) Reg. No as it
appeared on your previously printed
photo card.

Successful candidates (those who
received the message: "You have been
admitted" after entering their UTME
numbers) could proceed to designated
banks to pay Acceptance Fee of N40, 000
and obtain E-Tranzact receipt, after
which they would come back to FUTO
website and follow the below procedure:
(i) Go to http://utme.futo.edu.ng/student/MyResult.aspx
(ii) Enter your UTME (Jamb) Reg. No as it
appeared on your previously printed
photo card.
(iii) Click “Next” button

N.B: If you have been admitted, kindly
continue with the below procedure
(iii) Click on the "Continue to Payment"
link
(iv) Enter your E-Tranzact Confirmation
order and Receipt number
(v) Click "Submit" .
(vi) Print out your "Acceptance Form"
and "Admission Letter"
(vii) Keep your "Acceptance Form" and
"Admission Letter" until you receive
further instructions from FUTO website
on the commencement of registration
exercise for newly admitted students

FUTO EXAMZ DATE: Find out

FEDERAL UNIVERSITY OF TECHNOLOGY OWERRI
2013/2014 RAIN SEMESTER EXAMINATIONS

The Rain Semester Examinations will commence on Monday, September 22, 2014 and end on Monday, October 6, 2014

To the best of my knowledge the Management has not shifted its stand on this. Please ignore any information concerning further postponement of the Rain Semester Examinations.Remain assured of my highest considerations and regards.

PROTESTS IN FUTO

FUTO students protesting for SUG election conducted in FUTO
yesterday. An election that an aspirant
got 0 vote(s) in his department.
What a nice RIGGING

HOW TO UPGRADE NOKIA OS

H OW TO UPGRADE NOKIA OS
REQUIREMENTS
* USB Cable
* Nokia Suite
* Nokia Softwares Updater
*
PROCEDURES
install Nokia PC Suite and Nokia Software
Updater
connect ur phone to ur tru USB
Cable
run Nokia Software Updater
wait for it to confirm ur phone and it update
when it has display ur phone and the update
of it to
click wait for it to and install..
after that ur phone will re-start itself...
and u have new version...
NOTE: MAKE SURE U HAVE A GOOD
CONNECT...
UR MODEM MUST BE CONNECTED BEFORE U
DO ANYTHING O...

Warplanes strike Boko Haram in Borno State

Nigerian warplanes are carrying out
air strikes against Boko Haram militant
bases in northeast Borno state, a senior
official said on Friday, in a government
counter-attack against the group's apparent
drive to create an Islamist enclave.
The official, who asked not to be named,
told Reuters Nigeria's military was battling
Boko Haram fighters at Bama, 70 km (45
miles) southeast of the Borno state capital
Maiduguri.
Air strikes have been carried out "on all the
Boko Haram bases", the official said,
adding this reflected President Goodluck
Jonathan's order for a "fully-fledged war"
against the group which has waged a
bloody insurgency since 2009.
Military spokesmen have denied reports
Bama was overrun by heavily armed
militants earlier this week after they
attacked it with captured military vehicles
and pick-up trucks mounted with machine
guns, all part of a growing Boko Haram
arsenal.
"Bama today is the centre of the military
battle with the terrorists ... Boko Haram is
being repelled by the Nigerian troops as we
are talking now," the government official
said, without giving details of the
operations or casualties.

US urged to arrest Jonathan for organized terrorism

This interview of Hon. Farouk Adamu Aliyu
is a most important document in Nigeria’s
developing history. Mr. Aliyu went to the
United States to seek the assistance and
cooperation of the Obama administration
in the arrest of Nigeria’s President,
Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. He defended the
reasons why he and many Nigerians,
myself included believe the accidental
President of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan
should be swiftly arrested for crimes
against humanity, support and leadership
of terrorism and gross abuse of office. Mr.
Aliyu formally presented the submission to
the United States government who have the
capacity to arrest Goodluck Jonathan,
protected by immunity in Nigeria. He
expressed that it will be insincere and
reckless of the US and international
community to continue to ignore the direct
leadership, affiliations and coordination of
terror by the Nigerian President on the
country’s 167 million people.
It is noted that a top US think-
tank, STRATFOR has informed that
Goodluck Jonathan is a Patron of the
Movement for the Emancipation of the
Niger Delta, MEND terrorist organization
responsible for multiple events of terror
including oil installation bombings and the
2010 Abuja independence day bombing
that left over eight Nigerians dead. Another
top US intelligence think-tank, the Council
of Foreign Relations in a report[PDF] by
Robert I. Rotberg, “THE CENTER FOR
PREVENTIVE ACTION: Nigeria Elections and
Continuing Challenges,” described Nigeria’s
president as notably “compromised,” and
his wife, Patience Jonathan as “indicted by
the Economic Financial Crimes Commission,
EFCC,” a notably “cruel” being for “ordering
the fiancée of a prominent Ijaw leader
locked-up and turning down all pleas to
have her released;” and described her as
the “greediest Bayelsa person;” referencing
International Herald Tribune of September
11, 2006 and the Vanguard (Lagos), March
31, 2006.

US urged to arrest Jonathan for organized terrorism

This interview of Hon. Farouk Adamu Aliyu
is a most important document in Nigeria’s
developing history. Mr. Aliyu went to the
United States to seek the assistance and
cooperation of the Obama administration
in the arrest of Nigeria’s President,
Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. He defended the
reasons why he and many Nigerians,
myself included believe the accidental
President of Nigeria, Goodluck Jonathan
should be swiftly arrested for crimes
against humanity, support and leadership
of terrorism and gross abuse of office. Mr.
Aliyu formally presented the submission to
the United States government who have the
capacity to arrest Goodluck Jonathan,
protected by immunity in Nigeria. He
expressed that it will be insincere and
reckless of the US and international
community to continue to ignore the direct
leadership, affiliations and coordination of
terror by the Nigerian President on the
country’s 167 million people.
It is noted that a top US think-
tank, STRATFOR has informed that
Goodluck Jonathan is a Patron of the
Movement for the Emancipation of the
Niger Delta, MEND terrorist organization
responsible for multiple events of terror
including oil installation bombings and the
2010 Abuja independence day bombing
that left over eight Nigerians dead. Another
top US intelligence think-tank, the Council
of Foreign Relations in a report[PDF] by
Robert I. Rotberg, “THE CENTER FOR
PREVENTIVE ACTION: Nigeria Elections and
Continuing Challenges,” described Nigeria’s
president as notably “compromised,” and
his wife, Patience Jonathan as “indicted by
the Economic Financial Crimes Commission,
EFCC,” a notably “cruel” being for “ordering
the fiancée of a prominent Ijaw leader
locked-up and turning down all pleas to
have her released;” and described her as
the “greediest Bayelsa person;” referencing
International Herald Tribune of September
11, 2006 and the Vanguard (Lagos), March
31, 2006.

Warplanes strike Boko Haram in Borno State

Nigerian warplanes are carrying out
air strikes against Boko Haram militant
bases in northeast Borno state, a senior
official said on Friday, in a government
counter-attack against the group's apparent
drive to create an Islamist enclave.

The official, who asked not to be named,
told Reuters Nigeria's military was battling
Boko Haram fighters at Bama, 70 km (45
miles) southeast of the Borno state capital
Maiduguri.

Air strikes have been carried out "on all the
Boko Haram bases", the official said,
adding this reflected President Goodluck
Jonathan's order for a "fully-fledged war"
against the group which has waged a
bloody insurgency since 2009.

Military spokesmen have denied reports
Bama was overrun by heavily armed
militants earlier this week after they
attacked it with captured military vehicles
and pick-up trucks mounted with machine
guns, all part of a growing Boko Haram
arsenal.

"Bama today is the centre of the military
battle with the terrorists ... Boko Haram is
being repelled by the Nigerian troops as we
are talking now," the government official
said, without giving details of the
operations or casualties.

Nigeria's air force and defence
headquarters did not respond to requests
for comment and it was not immediately
possible to obtain independent
confirmation of the fighting.

FG Postpones Resumption Of Primary & Secondary Schools To Oct. 15th

The Federal Government of Nigeria has postponed the
resumption of primary and secondary schools across
the country to October 22nd, it has been announced.
Primary and Secondary schools were supposed to
resume on September 22nd but about two weeks, FG
postponed it indefinitely to prevent an outbreak of
the Ebola Viral Disease. They announced yesterday
that schools can resume October 15th.

How To Bypass Android Phones Security Code Or Pattern image

“How to by-pass pattern lock on an android
phone” so I created this topic to help user get that
by.

Usually the android security Lock pattern has an
alternative unlock method, which is logging on
with Gmail account.
Let’s assume you don’t know your gmail username
and password, and you had forgotten your Phone
security password. Here is an android trick to help
you by pass pattern lock on your android phone.

How To Unlock Android Phone Pattern ?
-Power Off Device
-After Putting Off device press and hold Power
Button
+ Volume down simultaneously for a few seconds.
-After that Android Secret menu would appear.
-Now press home key to scroll that appeared
menu.

-Now it will display a option like remove or delete
all user data.
-wait for just a few seconds.
-Now you have figured out your problem.
That’s all. Remove battery and insert back, the
pattern lock security won’t be there any longer.

Hope Party sues Jonathan and co over TAN rallies

The Hope Democratic Party
(HDP) has dragged President Goodluck
Jonathan, Secretary to the
Government of the Federation Anyim
Pius Anyim, Attorney-General of the
Federa-tion Mohammed Adoke to court
over the pro-Jonathan’s re-election
rallies being organized across the
country by Transformation Ambassadors
of Nigeria (TAN)

Catholics seminarians mistaken for Boko Haram members in Ogun

The Ogun State Police Command on
Tuesday debunked rumours of the arrest
of some members of Boko Haram sect in
the state.
Some residents of Akute in Ifo local
government area had put a distress call
to the police on sighting strange faces in
their communities.
The men were bearded and wearing white
robes. They were later discovered to be
Catholic seminarians visiting a friend in
the community.
“The attention of the Ogun State Police
Command has been drawn to a rumour
being widely circulated that the command
has arrested some members of the Boko
Haram Sect in Akute area of Ogun State,”
the police spokesperson, Muyiwa Adejobi,
said in a statement.
“The Command wishes to debunk the
rumour and set the records straight that
those seen and challenged by members
of the public at Akute area were actually
students of the Franciscan Friars of the
Immaculate Seminary School, Sagamu,
Ogun State who came on a visit to a
friend at Kayode Afolabi Close, Mubarak
Estate Akute, Ogun State, before a
distress call was put across to the
Divisional Police Officer in Charge of
Ajuwon Division.”
He said the men were taken to the Police
Divisional Office for interrogation where
their identities were confirmed.
“The leaders and representatives of the
said seminary school in Sagamu and the
Catholic priest in Akute as well as the
host of the students have come to the
Police Division in Ajuwon to identify them
as their Catholic members who are
actually on training in the school in
Sagamu,” Mr. Adejobi said.
“The information being peddled around is
not true and the command therefore
appeals to the general public to always
clarify issues before spreading wrong and
unconfirmed information via all available
means, particularly sensitive issues on
security.”

What do women want in b€d

Can you imagine a world where a
woman’s s**xuality was deemed
predatory, aggressive and voracious?
Where she hunted for mates who could
satisfy her physically, instead of coyly
waiting for romantic gestures from a
chivalrous gentleman? Where she
favoured s**x with many different men
instead of being locked down and
physically committed to one?
However that makes you feel, you should
know that studies into female sexuality
are starting to paint this picture.
Turns out, the story that’s been
packaged and sold to us about our
bodies, desires and s*x drive – as fact –
might have been a more than just a little
bit influenced by that creepy old man in
the corner called patriarchy.

Army succesfully battles Boko Haram in Bama

The army has reportedly killed 59
members of Boko Haram terrorist sect in
an exchange of fire in Bama, Borno
State.

According to a security source who
preferred anonymity, about 200
insurgents had invaded the town but fell
to the superior weapon handling and
war tactics of the soldiers.
He said over 30 insurgents were also left
injured with various bullet wound as the
majority of the terrorist were compelled
to retreat through the bush while others
sped via the highway.
Some residents of Bama, who spoke to
journalists in Maiduguri, said they woke
up early Monday morning to heavy
bombardment as gunshots the air.

“Everyone was thrown into
pandemonium as we continue to hear
deafening gunshot and we are later to
hear that over 200 Boko Haram terrorists
attempted to capture the town.

"We also learnt that they stormed the
town through Bama-Banki-Gwoza Road
but they were intercepted by gallant
military troops near the Bama Mobile
Police Unit located about 5 kilometers
away from the center of the town” a
resident explained.

Sister and brother have s**x in church parking lot

A brother and sister from
Georgia, US, have been arrested after
they were reported to have s*x in a
tractor trailer in the parking lot of a
church.

According to the police in the area, Tim
Savoy, 25, and his sister Christopher
Buckner, 20, admitted that they had sex
three times in the trailer.

S**x positions women like

Here comes that generalisation
again, and with it the knowledge that at
least one reader will say, "But I'm not
like that". Okay, let's say that many - not
all - women enjoy these lovemaking
positions.
Call us indulgent, but most men enjoy
seeing their partners having an orgasm.

Here are a few of the positions many
women find gives them the most
pleasure, along with some tips for men
on maximising the enjoyment for both of
you.

Astride
You lie on your back, perhaps with a
pillow under your bottom. Once she's on
top of you and you're inside her, you
can tilt your pelvis forward a bit, which
allows her to grind hers more directly
against it. Many women find this a
reliable way of having a clitoral orgasm,
especially if they lie on top of you.

She
may prefer you to lie still and let her
control the rhythm of her movement.
Don't worry - it'll be pleasant for you
too.

Your partner may also prefer to remain
erect, resting her weight on her hands
while moving rhythmically up and done.
This enables her to move her G-spot
against the head or shaft of your penis.

This position can be hugely enjoyable
position for both of you. Your partner
may heighten the sensation for both of
you by squeezing her kegel muscles.

Exotic sex manuals talk about women
turning around while astride the man,
but feats like these have more value as a
novelty than heightened pleasure. Try it,
but don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t
work out. There are plenty of other
options.

The intimate missionary
It's a much-maligned position, but many
women love it. It allows full-length, skin-
to-skin touching and eye contact. Try
putting your arms around your partner
and holding her close to you. You can
also hold yourself up on your arms and
move inside her, very slowly and
rhythmically, rather than frantic rodeo-
type thrusting. Try putting a pillow under
her bottom.

Making a stand
For this you'll need a very sturdy surface,
at about waist height. If it's a cold, hard
or rough surface, your partner will
appreciate a towel between it and her
bottom.

Some men go on about the
value of a rumbling, vibrating tumble-
drier to add extra sensation.

If you're
comfortable with your partner calling
out the name of the manufacturer while
in the throes of passion, switch on the
machine.

The reason so many women like this
position is that it allows contact with the
G-spot.

Some women find it the only
position in which they can ejaculate,
often a highly erotic experience for both
partners. She should probably be fully
aroused before you enter her, as you'll
be penetrating her deeply.

Depending on where you do this - a
fallen tree in the middle of the
Okavango, against a lifeboat on a cruise
liner, under a full moon in Venice -
there'll also be an element of danger or
intrigue. So this isn't the time for
lingering, all-night intimacy, but rather
the cut-to-the-action sort. Gauge your
partner's mood right and your have a
recipe for brief, explosive sex. It’s no
replacement for the lingering, romantic
sort, just a whizz-bang alternative.

Spoons in the sack
This is a slow, intimate position that can
feel enormously erotic. Your partner lies
on her side and you nestle in her back,
letting you guide your penis inside her.

There's no eye contact unless you have a
strategically placed mirror (Not a bad
idea if your partner fancies it), but it
does allow you to rub and stroke her
body and to kiss, lick and nuzzle her
neck, back and ears. And of course, you
can give her a running commentary on
how good she makes you feel.

Stoop lively now
Not all women are wild about “doggy
style” as it can seem a bit impersonal,
but if the mood is right and she's
confident that you're not fantasising
about her sister it can be very exciting.

You can do this standing, kneeling or
lying down. For the latter you can put a
pillow under her pelvis, and enter her
vagina from behind, resting your weight
on your hands.

Standing or kneeling affords the deepest
penetration, and you can hold your
partner's hips in your hands and control
your thrusting with her pelvic
movements and yours.

Anita Oyakhilome's pictures missing from church website

The crisis rocking the marriage of
the founder of Believers Love World aka
Christ Embassy, Chris Oyakhilome has
taken a new twist as the church has
reportedly deleted the pictures and
personal information of the wife from its
website

'Voters without permanent cards won’t vote'

The Independent National
Electoral Commission (INEC) on Monday
in Abuja said that voters who did not
collect their Permanent Voter Cards by
December 2014, would be
disenfranchised in the 2015 general
elections.

The commission also called on Nigerians
not to lose hope in its ability to deliver
free, fair and credible elections in 2015.
The Director of Voter Registry in INEC,
Emmanuel Akem; Director (Voter
Education, Publicity, Gender and CSOs),
Oluwole Uzzi; and the commission’s
Head of Department (FCT Voter
Education), Okezie Nwankwo, made the
appeal during a one-day Town Hall
meeting on the continuous voter
registration and distribution of
Permanent Voters Cards.

Akem said voters that just registered
would have their PVCs in 30 days, adding
that the observations and complaints by
prospective voters were being
addressed.

He said, “All potential voters must have
collected their PVCs before December
2014, those that did not collect theirs
will not vote in 2015.
“We had technical support deployed to
the field to deal with the breakdown of
machines during registration.

This, among other measures, is being
taken for the success of the exercise.”

Akem stated that although the CVR had
not commenced in the local
governments, they would start the
exercise as soon as the three phases of
the exercise were concluded across the
country.

Uzzi said Nigerians should not leave it all
alone for INEC as their active
participation would make the work of the
commission easier and effective in the
overall interest of the nation.

Scores killed as gunmen swarm Taraba State

A number of people have
reportedly been killed after gunmen
stormed Wukari local government council
in Taraba State and overpowered
security forces.
Local sources told this publication the
unrest intensified on Tuesday.
The casualty figures have been put
between 40 to 50 people following the
disturbances at the brewery depot
located behind the palace of the Wukari
monarch.

“After setting the brewery on fire, the
unknown gunmen went ahead and
started shooting sporadically,” one of the
residents said.
President of the Youths of Vision Wukari,
Tsa-asen Luka Agbu, confirmed the crisis.

“At about five this morning, unknown
men stormed the town and burnt down
the brewery behind the palace of Aku-
uka.”

Another Ebola case reported in Port Harcourt

The country has a third
confirmed case of Ebola disease in the
oil hub of Port Harcourt, bringing the
country's total confirmed infections to
16, with around 200 people under
surveillance, the health minister said
on Monday.
A doctor in Port Harcourt died last
week after treating a contact of the
Liberian-American man who was the
first recorded case of the virus in
Africa's most populous country. That
raised alarm that Ebola, which looked
on the verge of being contained in the
commercial capital, Lagos, may flare up
again elsewhere.

SWEET QUOTES

I’ll reach for your hand in the cold
of winter, I’ll reach for your hand in the
heat of summer. But if my short life can’t
reach the dawn of spring, I promise, in
heaven, I’ll reach you with my wings.

If you hide, I’ll seek for you. If
you’re lost, I’ll search for you. If you
leave, I’ll wait for you. If they try to take
you away from me, I’ll fight for you.
Cause I never want to lose someone I
love.

I know your life can go on without
me, that you can be happy without me,
that you can survive without me. But
even if you turn me away, I will still
choose to stay with you and be your
sweetest stranger forever.

I don’t know why I keep on loving
you despite the fact that I’ll get hurt
again just like before. I never learn cause
I don’t want to. Not now when I’m still
strong to fall for you over and over again.

If someone would ask me what a
beautiful life means, I would lean my
head on your shoulder, hold you close to
me and answer with a smile, “Like this.”

There’s a love that only you can
give, a smile that only your lips can show,
a twinkle that can only be seen in your
eyes and my life that only you can
complete.

You’re one of the people I never
asked from God but still, He gave you to
me. I asked Him why, He said, “Because
he can fill your life like no one else can.”

If I can just make everything fall
where it should be, I would. If I could
make life better for you, I would. But I
can’t. All I can do is to let you know that
mine has been better because of you.

When I say I love you, please
believe it’s true. When I say forever,
know I’ll never leave you. When I say
goodbye, promise me you won’t cry.
Cause the day I’ll be saying that would be
the day I die.

Death scares the hell out of me. I
don’t wanna die knowing that you’ll cry
over me but if death means watching
over you and being with you, I might as
well take my life just for you.

Would you believe me if I tell you
that I love you so much? Actually, I’d
prefer it if you won’t. Why? So that I can
spend the rest of my life proving to you
how much I do.

We spend most of our time talking
about nothing but I just want to let you
know that all these nothings mean so
much more to me than so many
somethings.

I asked God why life’s like this. He
gave me no answer. I asked why I’m still
here. Again, He gave me no answer. I
asked why I met you. He smiled and said,
“So there’d be a reason for everything
else.”

Someone told me that there really
is such thing as magic. I never believed in
that till I saw your smile and felt your
touch. Then I realized you’re the only
magical thing on earth who could turn this
world into paradise.

I promise to be there when you
need me, I promise to hug you tight
when you’re lonely, I promise to wipe
your tears when they fall and I promise to
keep you, not for the rest of my life but
for the rest of yours.

Bedtime Romance

At the close of each day, you have the
choice to either ignore your partner or
embrace the opportunity for intimacy.

•Tonight, shake things up a bit and choose
one of the great ideas to help you
enjoy that special time.

•A massage is the perfect way to end an
evening with your lover. Get to know your
lover's body while pampering them with
your relaxing touch.

•Read to each other from a favorite novel,
book of poetry, or erotica.

•Turn on some music and slow dance. If you really want to romance
them, choose the song you first danced to
as husband and wife.

•Turn off the TV. It's not that cuddling in
front of the tube isn't romantic, but TV
time has a tendency to intrude on intimacy.

•Making the choice to focus completely on
each other opens the door to romantic
opportunities.

•Wear sexy night clothes. It doesn't have to
be lingerie, but it should be more than an
old T-shirt and boxer shorts.

•Talk about your favorite memories
together. Remember your childhood
friends, compare scars, reminisce about the
stress of your engagement, or look through
the photos of vacations you took together.
If you are keeping a love journal, make a
timeline of special times to tuck inside.

•Before making your way to the bedroom, lie
with each other in front of the fire and kiss,
kiss, and kiss some more.

•Take a bath together. Nothing makes a
night's sleep sweeter than a nice relaxing
bath before slipping between the sheets,
so why not do it together? Wash each
other's hair and cuddle up in the bubbles
together.

•Have a bedtime picnic before hitting the
pillow. Some good menu ideas may include
a snack tray of cheese and crackers or
champagne and strawberries, or it could
also be something sweet like cake and ice
cream.

•Lie in bed together listening to music and
holding each other.