Catholic Church rejects same-sex marriage

The Nigeria Catholic Church
community has refused to shift ground
concerning the acceptance and conduction
of same sex marriages in the church, Punch
reports.
The President of the Catholic Bishops
Conference of Nigeria, Most Rev. Ignatius
Kaigama made this known while briefing
newsmen on Sunday on the outcome of the
3rd Extra Ordinary Synod of the Family of
the Catholic Church held in Rome recently.
Kaigama, who is also the archbishop of Jos,
said the Synod said the Church though does
not entertain same sex marriage, but it
would not excommunicate the gay
community, but keep assisting them with
prayers and counselling to overcome their
abnormal behaviour.

Finally Goodluck Jonathan picks up PDP Nomination Form For 2015 Presidential Election

President Goodluck Jonathan has finally
picked up the PDP Presidential
Expression of Interest and Nomination
form today October 30th at the party's
national headquarters in Abuja. See more
photos after the cut...

Nigeria talks with Boko Haram but no sign of girls

Nearly a week after Nigeria announced a ceasefire
deal with Boko Haram, which it said would include the release
of more than 200 schoolgirls kidnapped by the Islamist group,
there is still no sign of the girls being freed.
Talks took place this week between the government and the
Islamist militant group in the Chadian capital, but they are
shrouded in secrecy.

Jonathan arrives in Jerusalem for pilgrimage

President Goodluck Jonathan
arrived in Jerusalem on Saturday for a two-
day pilgrimage to Israel.
According to the president’s itinerary, he
will observe the Sabbath Day on Saturday at
the Wailing Wall, where he will pray
privately before going to Mount Tabor and
Mount Carmel.
Jonathan will also visit some other Christian
holy sites during the pilgrimage.
During the pilgrimage, he will pray for
Nigeria at an Interdenominational Church
Service with the theme: “A day with Jesus
for Nigeria in Israel.”
The progamme of events indicates that
other Nigerian Pilgrims will join the
president during the service to pray for the
well being and progress of the country.

BIBLE EMERGENCY NUMBERS

BIBLE EMERGENCY NUMBERS
"My presence shall go with thee and I will give
thee rest"
When in sorrow, call John 14
When men fail you, call Psalm 27
When you have sinned, call Psalm 51
When you worry, call Matthew 6:19-34
In danger, Psalm 91
When God seems far away, call Psalm 139
When your faith needs stirring, call Hebrews 11
When you are lonely and fearful, call Psalm 23
When you grow bitter and critical, call 1 Cor 13
You feel down and out, call Romans 8:31-39
You want peace and rest, Matthew 11:25-30
When the world seems bigger than God, call
Psalm 90
When you want Christian assurance, call
Romans 8:1-30
When you leave home for labor or travel, call
Psalm 121
When your prayers grow narrow or selfish, call
Psalm 67
When you want courage for a task, call Joshua
1
When you think of investments/ returns, call
Mark 10
How to get along with fellowmen, Romans 12
For great invention/ opportunity, Isaiah 55
For Paul's secret to happiness, Col 3:12-17
For idea of Chrisitanity,call 2 Cor 5:15-19
Depressed. Psalm 27
To be fruitful, John 15
If your pocketbook is empty, call Psalm 37
Losing confidence in people, 1 Cor 13
If people seem unkind,call John 15
If discouraged about your work, Psalm 126
If you find the world growing small and you
great, call Psalm 19.

Conversation between a Rat and Man

Rat: (with tiny voice) hello.
Man: hello, who am i speaking with?
Rat: Na Mr John be dis abi?
Man: yes this is Mr John, who is
dis pls?
Rat: so u no recognize my voice abi? Na me
ur
room mate.
Man: u say what?.
Rat: ur room mate Rat. I dey ur room now..
Man: i beg ur pardon?
Rat: which yeye beg u dey beg me. i never
chop since yesterday wey u waka comot. I
check that place wey u dey put food i no see
anything. I check d kitchen nothing. I even
check ur fridge no single food there. E be
like say u wan kill me abi.. No problem, i jux
say make i let u know say That ur certificate
4 inside your wardrobe wey dem write
LAGOS STATE UNIVERSITY I don eat d "LA"
comot.
Remaining "GOS"STATE UNIVERSITY. Let me
see which work u go take "GOS" State
University find....
(rat ends call)
the man fainted

LETTER TO ALL THE SINGLE LADIES

Dear ladies,
Firstly… If you're still struggling to find a
husband at an old age because you’re
looking for a perfect man, something is
certainly wrong with you. Now, your
propaganda magazine tells you that all men
are liars,cheat and useless, but let's be
honest here, which is more likely, is it there
is something wrong with 70 million African
men? Or there is something wrong with
one African women, YOU?

The truth is this, when a product is not
doing well, the sales team doesn't blame
the customers, they either blame the
product or sales and marketing strategy.
So ladies, have you being marketing
yourself? Do you think you will be picked
out of the shelf and placed in a basket of
matrimony if you are always hanging out
with coven of witches you call friends?

Those ladies who intimidated any man who
approaches you?
Hmm drinking yourself to stupor every
Friday and Saturday night does not exactly
make you look like a marriage materials.
Neither will any product (YOU) do well in
the market if the sales team (YOU) reek of
desperation.

Nagging, whining only tells a man that he is
watching a preview of what will be like if he
walks down the aisle with you. If your
precious EX’s all complained about your
nags, get a gag! You want a husband? ….
Invest in a good wardrobe and dress well.

When a man comes to you, smile and be
polite even if he doesn't fit to your mental
image of your kind of man.
At 18, most ladies already have an image of
her perfect man, which includes
height,body type and wealth. As times goes
on, a lady will add more qualities to her
list.

Such that by the time she is dating for
a marriage, not a single man alive can meet
her exact standards. Ladies, stop coming to
relationship with a chip on your shoulder.
If you believe all men are bad all men are
Dogs, then it will become a self fulfilling
prophesy.

No man is perfect, if you want to
find a perfect man,you will have to do a
Genesis chapter one and make him out of
clay, and breathe life to him. And even
then, chances are, he may still disappoint.

You say you can’t marry a blue collar guy
like a mechanic or carpenter, now if a
carpenter was good enough to marry Mary
mother of the Jesus Christ, why isn’t one
good enough for you? Do not focus on
where a man is now, but look and see
where he has the potentials to be.

Don't
focus on some petty physical features that
are not up to your Mexican soap-opera
standards. Hmm your dream man, will he
be faithful? Will he be a good father to
your kids and a good husband to you? Will
he love, cherish and respect you?

What is the point of being beaten to a pulp
every night by some rich, good looking and
womanizer jerk? Do you want
a future where you will sit in traffic in your
BMW X6, GUCCI sunglasses covering your
swollen eyes and you look out of window
and see a happy couple in 1972 Old Crap
Non-silencer Volks Wagen holding hands,
laughing and giggling like new wedded
couple even after 12 years of marriage.

I believe wherever you are, its full of good
men, you're just so caught up day
dreaming about your fantasy man that they
are passing unnoticed before your very
eyes.

Don't be cynical, fussy and uptight.
Improve your product, and how it's
marketed and demand for it will grow
through the roof. And remember you're
competing in a modern African market.

Don’ t fake pregnancy or get pregnant to
trap him, that doesn't works anymore! Your
perfect man is out there, he may not look
like what you want or expect, but if you
give him a chance, the two of you will find
joy, companionship and completion like
you have never thought possible.

Everybody can love a rose but it takes a
great heart to include the thorns.
Wish you the best in your quest for a life
partner

How To Format Nokia Symbian Phones (60v2 & S60v3) Phones Without Any Software.

Below are some of the problem that might
force you to format your nokia phone(60v2
& S60v3)

1. Blank Screen Phone Unable to Reboot.

2. Only being able to boot-up to “Nokia”
word screen.

3. Install some program but not able to
uninstall it after that.

4. Error messages such as “Child Installer”
keeps popping-up.

Now, i am going to show you some steps
that will help you format your nokia
symbian phones.

First Method
Charge your phone battery full.
Then Backup your contacts list and
personal files to MMC memory card.
Now switch your Symbian phone
on.
Press and hold these three keys
together: Red dial key ,Sharp key (#)
and One key (1)
Now Press the power switch to
switch off the Symbian phone. Do
not let go the three keys until you
see the “formatting” screen
displayed
Wait a few minutes until the format
is complete. Your Symbian phone
will now be at its original factory
settings.

SECOND METHOD
Make sure your battery is full.
Pls Backup your contacts list and
personal files to MMC memory card.
Now type in *#7370# . It will
immediately prompt you to restart
your phone.

Press ‘Yes’ and the phone will
restart after formatting. It takes
about 2 to 3 minutes to complete the
process.

Done.You now have a new operating
system(os)

I hope you enjoyed this post,feel free to
comment below.

VERY IMPORTANT NOTICE FOR PARENTS!

― Dont always shout at your kids,it wil
distance/
push them away from you
― Warn your girl child never to sit on
anyone's
laps no matter the situation including
uncles.
― Avoid getting dressed in front of your
child once
he/ she is 2years old. Lean to excuse
yourself.
― If you have to hire a house-help please
kindly
take them for HIV screening to determine
their HIV
status, properly interview them and make
up your
mind to treat them well.
― Never allow any adult refer to your new
born as
'my wife' or 'my husband'
― Never tempt your husband with your
younger
sister. (Else he'd say its hers and the devil's
fault)
― Avoid unnecessary familiarity and make
sure
you take care of your husband by yourself
lest you
lead him into temptation.
― Whenever your child goes out to play
with
friends make sure you look for a way to
find out
what kind of play they played together
because
young people now sexually abuse
themselves.
― Never force your child to visit any adult
he or
she is not comfortable with and also be
observant
if your child becomes too fond of a
particular
adult.
― Once a very lively child suddenly
becomes
withdrawn you might need to patiently ask
a lot of
questions from your child.
― If you don't teach your children about
sex, the
society will teach them the wrong values.
― It is always advisable you go through
any new
material like cartoons you just bought for
them
before they start seeing it themselves.
― Teach your 3-year-olds how to wash
their
private parts properly and warn them never
to
allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes
you. (remember, charity begins at home
and with
you)
― Blacklist some materials you think could
threaten the sanity of your child (that
includes
music, movies and musicians) and let them
understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.
― Once your child complains about a
particular
person, don't keep quiet about it. Take up
the
case and show them you can defend them
always!
Do you Agree?

HOW TO BE A GOOD MAN TO YOUR LADY

HOW TO BE A GOOD MAN TO YOUR LADY..
1: When she talks listen. Always give
attention
to her while talking.don't just let the words
from her past by your ears while your just
staring at her and looking only on her chest
(breast).
2) Respect her and her family. (This is self
explanatory).
3) Better yourself. Always dress yourself
smartly and look clean and handsome to
her.
4) Change her to be better: Be Her Role
Model,Always support her decisions and
tell her
What is right and wrong.
5) Make her feel that she is beautiful by
giving
comments on her dressing and any other
ways
you find works for you.
6) Don't bore her. Take her to some fan
places,
beach, fancy restaurant.You Can Also go
watch a
cinema with her.
7) Don't lie and cheat on her.Give her
space:
Have trust on your girlfriend and let her
have a
life separate from yours without being
jealous
and being too inquisitive on her moves.
8) Always try to support her dreams and
what
she likes most..
Agree or Disagree??????

JOKES:An old lady

An old lady was standing at the railing of the
cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would
not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, “Pardon
me, madam. I do not intend to be forward but
did you know that your dress is blowing up in
this high wind?”
“Yes, I know,” said the lady. “I need both my
hands to hold onto this hat.”
“But madam, you must know that you are not
wearing any panties and your privates are
exposed!” said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the
man and replied, “Sir, anything you see down
there is 85 year-old. I just bought this hat
yesterday!”

LADIES ARE you A GOOD_________WOMAN ????

There are a lot of Good Women who are
still
SINGLE. Not
because they aren't good MATES But simply
because many
men aren't ready to chill out & commit!
Good Women are PRICELESS because you
can't
buy their
VIRTUE with money... That gift is given
straight
from GOD!
Their VIRTUE can save your LIFE!
Good Women aren't sitting around waiting
on a
MAN to
take care of them. They are DRIVEN,
MOTIVATED
&
AMBITIOUS already. They're an ASSET!
Good Women STILL believe in LOVE
although
many men
BROKE their hearts MANY times! Their
virtue
remains
PURE even after being treated DIRTY!
Good Women are STRONG enough to make
it
WITHOUT
men in their lives but SMART enough to
desire to
make it
WITH their men by their sides!

HOW TO MAKE A MAN AND WOMAN HAPPY:

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Feed him
2. Sleep with him
3. Leave him with peace
4. Don't check his phone (Msgs)
5. Don't bother him with his movements

So what's so hard about that?

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:

It's really not too difficult but... To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a plumber
10. a mechanic
11. a carpenter
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

44. give her compliments regularly
45. go shopping with her
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

50. give her lots of attention
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

53. never forget
*birthdays
*anniversaries
*valentine
*arrangements she makes

JOKES: An old woman w

An old woman walked into an antique store and
looked at a diamond necklace in a glass cabinet.
Suddenly, she let out a fart (she polluted the air)
. She coughed, trying to disguise it, because a
shop assistant was walking by.
She then called the assistant over and asked
how much the necklace was.
The assistant replied, “If you just farted looking
at it, you’ll shit yourself when I tell you the
price!”

THE TYPES OF STUDENTS YOU WILL MEET IN NIGHT READING CLASS

The following are the different categories
of people
you will meet in night classes in our
various higher
instititution.
1. Customer care agents : this category
of people
will keep on receiving calls from the time
the came
to class till the sleep off. If you sit
beside them
"sorry" and it is more among ladies.
2. The lookers : this category of people
will make
sure that they look at any slightest
movement
around them. If they ever see a
beautiful/handsome
girl/guy then they will never cease
catching a
glimse at her/him. You will even wonder
if these
people actually came to study or to
observe others
study.
3. The late comers: this is common
among girls.
When you get to class from 4-7pm, you
will
discover that the class is empty. They are
waiting
till 9:30 when their presence will be
noticed.
4. The preachers : I am sure this set of
people annoy
every reader in that class but nobody
could pick the
courage to rebuke them because nobody
wants to
be tagged enemy of God' word. The
worst part is
that these preachers come to preach
when they are
tired of reading and want to stretch
themselves.
5. The itenarant readers: they are people
who move
in and out of the reading room every ten
minutes.
Sometimes you see them walking about
the
corridors. In an extreme cases they can
read in four
to six classes in a night.
6. The unarmed robbers: yes i call them
unarmed
because they look very innocent when
they are
reading beside you waiting for the
operation time.
The steal things like phones, reading
lamp, purse/
wallet, laptops, wrist-watches, textbooks
etc
depending on the person's level of
expertise and
stealing intentions.
7. The chronic sleepers . Hmmm, this set
of people
will just enter the class and lay their face
on the
desk and sleep off. They will not open
their book
from the time they came in till the time
they left.
They are always victims of the category
of people
above. The bad thing about these set of
people is
that the snore without regards and they
fart without
conscience.
8. The ash-crammers : they are our first
classers,
they will start reading from the time they
came in till
dawn. Sometimes i wonder what they
will be doing
during the day.
9. The eaters : they will buy biscuit, virju
milk,
lacasera, gala, chewing gum, infact all
the snacks in
the world just to attend night class. You
will wonder
if you are in nursery class or university
night class.
10. The pingers : this set of people will
never let their
phones be. Some will even come with
upto three
phone. Pressing their phone every now
and then
that you will wonder if they are actually
studying or
proof-reading.
11. The toasters: if i mention everything
without
mentioning our guys and babes who
come to night
class to look for partners then my list is
incomplete.
This is for people who are single and
searching
every night.
12. The last of it all is the couples: they
will come to
class together, continue talking, chatting
and
touching each other until they are tired
then off they
go. They have gone to night class.

JOKES : THE TWO GUYs

Two guys are moving about in a supermarket
when their carts collide. One says to the other,
“Excuse me, I was too busy looking for my wife.”
“What a coincidence, so am I, and I’m getting a
little desperate.”
“Well, maybe I can help you. What does your
wife look like?”
“She’s tall, with dark hair, long legs, firm
breasts, and a tight butt. What’s your wife look
like?”
“Never mind, let’s look for yours.”

JOKES : THE WISE MAID

The maid asked for an increase in salary, and
the wife was upset. She asked, “Now, Helen,
why do you think you deserve a pay increase?”
HELEN: There are three reasons. The first is that
I iron better than you.
WIFE: Who said that?
HELEN: Your husband.
WIFE: Oh.
HELEN: The second reason is that I am a better
cook than you.
Wife: Who said that?
HELEN: Your husband.
WIFE: Oh.
HELEN: The third reason is that I am better at
sex than you.
WIFE: Did my husband say that as well?
HELEN: No, the gardener did.
WIFE: So, how much do you want?

A Togolese, a Nigerian

A Togolese, a Nigerian and a Ghanaian were
caught red handed drinking alcohol in Saudi
Arabia, where consumption of Alcohol is strictly
prohibited.
The three of them were dragged in front of the
Sultan, who said:
“You will get 50 lashes for the consumption of
alcohol. However, since you are foreigners and
did not know about the prohibition, I will be
lenient. Each of you will have a wish before
getting the punishment.
You start, Togolese.”
Togolese: “I wish that you tie a pillow to my
back, before you flog me.” His wish was fulfilled,
but the flogging was so strong that the pillow
tore into pieces after 25 lashes.
The Nigerian, upon seeing what had happened
to the Togolese wished for two pillows on his
back but still, the pillows got torn early.
Now the Sultan turns to the Ghana-man, and
says:
“Now, Ghanaian, since I am a big football fan
and you play such beautiful football, I will be
specially lenient with you. You have two wishes,
but choose well.”
Ghana-man says: “First of all I want 100
lashes”.
The Nigerian and the Togolese look at
themselves flabbergasted.
The Sultan replies: “I do not understand it, but
we will grant you the double number of lashes!
And your second wish?”
Ghana-man:“Tie the Nigerian on my back”

JOKES : JANE AND THE UNKNOWN CALLER

Jane was called by an Unknown number.
UNKNOWN: Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
JANE: Yeah.
UNKNOWN: So you have a boyfriend. Its your
dad. I’m coming so that you’ll tell me when you
grew horns!
Next five minutes later, another Unknown caller.
UNKNOWN: Hi, do you have a boyfriend?
JANE: No.
UNKNOWN: I see you don’t love me. I’m your
boyfriend.
JANE: Oh Sweet heart, I love you. I thought it
was my stupid Dad!
UNKNOWN: It’s not your boyfriend. It’s still your
dad, just wanted to confirm you really have one.
Wait for me! I’m on my way!!!

Jokes :Two Little Boys

Two little boys stole a BIG bag of orange from
their neighbor and decided to go to a calm place
to share the loot equally.
One of them suggested the nearby cemetery.
As they were jumping the big gate to enter the
cemetery, 2 oranges fell out of the bag behind
the gate but they didn’t bother to pick them
since they had enough in the bag.
A few minutes later, a drunkard on his way
from a bar passed near the cemetery gate and
heard a voice saying: “One for Me, One for
YOU . “One for Me, One for YOU”.
He immediately sobered up and ran as fast as
he could to the church near by for the Priest.
“Father please come with me, come and witness
God and Satan sharing corpse at the cemetery.
They both ran back to the cemetery gate and
the voice continued: “One for Me, One for YOU,
One for Me, One for YOU…”
Suddenly the voice stopped counting and said:
“What about the two at the gate?
Come and see marathon! The priest almost ran
past the church gate, shouting “we are not dead
yet

JOKES :Two cannibals, a father and son

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected
by the tribe to go out and get something to eat.
They walked deep into the jungle and waited by
a path.
Before long, along came this little old man. The
son said, “Ooh dad, there’s one.” “No,” said the
father. “There’s not enough meat on that one to
even feed the dogs. We’ll just wait.”
Well, a little while later, along came this really
fat man. The son said, “Hey dad, he’s plenty big
enough.” “No,” the father said. “We’d all die of a
heart attack from the fat in that one. We’ll just
wait.”
About an hour later, here comes this absolutely
gorgeous woman.
The son said, “Now there’s nothing wrong with
that one dad. Let’s eat her.”
“No,” said the father. “We’ll not eat her either.”
“Why not?” asked the son.
“Because, we’re going to take her back alive and
eat your

DAD AND DAUGHTER

Girl: Dad,I’m in love with a boy who is far away
from me. I’m in Ghana and he lives in the UK.
We met on a dating website, became friends on
facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed
to each other on skype, and now 2 months of
relationship through viber, i need your blessings
and good wishes daddy
Dad : Really! Then get married on twitter, have
fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, send
them through gmail. And if you are fed up with
your husband…. sell him on naijasly.blogspot.com

DAD AND DAUGHTER

Girl: Dad,I’m in love with a boy who is far away
from me. I’m in Ghana and he lives in the UK.
We met on a dating website, became friends on
facebook, had long chats on whatsapp, proposed
to each other on skype, and now 2 months of
relationship through viber, i need your blessings
and good wishes daddy
Dad : Really! Then get married on twitter, have
fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, send
them through gmail. And if you are fed up with
your husband…. sell him on Tonaton.com

RECHARGE YOUR LINE WITHOUT BUYING CARD

GOING STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!
For those banking with GTBANK note that you can now load your phone with credit without stress by pressing *737*amount# with the the line you use in opening the account and you will get the alert as fast as possible

MOTIVATIONS IN FIELD

The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.
The Optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.......
         Be carefull dear in all you do. Failures are those who did not know how close they are to success.....  Never you quit or think of not trying again.
When you fall down pick up something.....
When you reach the end if the rope tie a  nut and continue......
If you are going through hell keep going God is with you...
          The life you live now does not matter.....but life after that matters....
First ask yourself: What is the worst that can happen?
Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve on the worst. Never you fear Failure.
Don't listen to what they might say to you...
Aircraft goes against the wind and still is the fastest...
You can go against what they say about you and still be Successful...
          Great people are those who convert stones threw at them to milestones....
Always put God 1st He cares He makes the Success successful

JOKES : Youths

You snap diff pix wit diff cars, yet u
claim say u no be runs gal...
Hmm ma sister, u be mechanic??

You buy ya gf ice cream, u dy sip pure
water.
Abi u na diabetes?

U claim say u no dy cheat on ya bf yet u
recieve diff calls for im presence
my sis, u be customer agent?

U buy ya bby soya, u com dy chop
onions.
o boy, u na vegetarian??

U dy sponsor ya gf for uni, yet u never
write jamb
oboy, u be scholarship board??

U ask her what she want n she said
money n ur angry, what did u expect her
to say???
Wisdom n understanding..
.mtcheeeeeew.

Ya gul get f9 pararrel for waec, yet she
till dy ask for brazillian hair of
#150.000..hmmm, were she wan fixed
am ontop? On top dat coconut head.

U r 6.5ft tall, u come wear 6 inches high
heel shoe,
seh........ U wan go moon????

U gather diff gals pix in ya phone, yet u
expect her to believe ya nad cheatin.
Uncle, u na photographer????

He gave u an engagement ring for over
five years, he never marry u..
My dear, u be lord of rings????

After reading this post, u smile and u
dnt like and comment on this post.
Dah, u stingy

haahahahhahahahahahahahahahhah
ahahahahhahahahahahahahhaha

bros, na joke o

Women are the most wonderful creature

Women are the most wonderful
creature
I have seen on Earth, but am yet
to
understand why some men are
busy
finding faults upon faults on
them.
Ok, lets look at them this way and
tell me
if am lying

1) Women are the only creature
that can
change their original surname
just for the
sake of love.

2) They are most easiest creature
to
convince.

3)They are the only creature that
loves
from the bottom of their heart.

4) They are the creature that can
prefer
to go to bed with an empty
stomach, just
to make sure that their children
feeds
well.

5) They are the only creature on
Earth
that cries very easily, just to
expose their
inward disposition.

6) They are always awake even at
the
dead of the night just to make
sure that
their children are protected.

7) They can even sell out their
cloths just
to buy food for their children, and
also
see them smiling.

8) They are always ready to
sacrifice
their lives just to save the lives of
their
children.

9) They are always in the kitchen
inhaling
the smoke without complaining,
just to
prepare something for their
children and
husband to eat.

10) They are the only creature
that can
abandon their biological family
and start
up a new home with a stranger.

11) Even when they are battling
with the
pains of
pregnancy, yet, they are busy
looking
after their husbands and
children. e.t.c
Infact If you love your Mum, TYPE
MUM I
LOVE YOU.

CAUTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

CAUTION LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

•Never feel as if the world is coming to
an end
when someone decides to walk away
from
you.LET THEM GO!!

•Trying to force.somebody to love you is
like
trying to teach a pig how to appreciate
beauty
and.cleanliness,Don't force them let
them love
you,if they can't....LET THEM GO

•You are too precious to beg for love.A
person
who truly loves you will.respect you and
not
treat you like trash If they treat you like
trash.treat them like thrash too & LET
THEM
GO

•Don't waste your valuable time trying to
convince or beg anyone to love
you.Someone
out there is sinking deeply in love with
you but
you too damn.busy chasing.brokend
ream
WHY??LET THEM GO.

•Never be sad if someone prefers
another over
you its always difficult to convince a -
MONKEY
that strawberry is sweeter than
banana.LET
THEM GO.

•Any man/woman that takes you for
granted
will eventually take advantage of
you..Don't
persevere Just LET THEM GO

•There are people who will never love
you no
matter how much love you show them
and
that’s okay.
Their rejection of you doesn’t mean
there is
something wrong with you it simply
means they
are not meant for you.Don't force a
circle shape
into a triangle shape Just LET THEM GO

20 Commandments Ladies should read

Funny But True: 20 Commandments
Ladies should
read

1. Thou shall not date any guy out of
sympathy. It
is
not worth it. It has never worth the
pain. Ladies
beware!

2. Thou shall not do revenge relationship
a.k.a let
me show my boyfriend I can flirt too.
Ladies, that
is
inflicting more injuries on yourself

3. Thou shall not depend on any man
for your
daily
needs. It has brought more pains than
joy to
some
ladies. Ladies, please!

4. Thou shall never fight over a man.
Such men
usually don’t have regard for ladies.
Ladies, you
can ask around if you are in doubt!

5. Thou shall not remain in a violent
relationship.
You are supposed to be his sweetheart
not a
punching bag. If he’s looking for whom
to punch,
refer him to Mike Tyson. Ladies, abi?

6. Thou shall not give IT to him. If he
wants IT that
desperately, he should put a ring on it.
Funny
enough, men can wait if they see your
worth it.
True!

7. Be bold when men toast you. Stop
cutting
flowers
or drawing circles with your leg. Enjoy
the
‘toasting’.
Don’t forget to pay attention to the pick
up lines.
Some pick up lines can crack your ribs.

8. If you are not sure of your man
especially if the
relationship is still new, never take your
girlfriend
to
his house or give her his number or BB
pin.
Odikwa
very risky!

9. As soon as you can, let your man
show his
face
to your people. Your sister or brother or
mother.
This is very key.

10. Material possessions are good but
never let
them be the number one factor in
choosing a
man.

11. Do not forget the golden rule. Always
sit like a
woman. Some men act like babies when
a woman
is not properly seated. You know what I
mean!

12. Never think you can trap a man with
good
sex.
Fou fou fou… foul! It is an aberration.

13. Be good to men but be firm. Yes firm
but don’t
scare them away.

14. Men are not in short supply. Don’t
let them
deceive you. Don’t believe anything in
the
contrary.
Don’t be stampeded into a relationship.

15. If your purpose for financing a man
is to keep
him, that could be a big mistake.
Finance for the
right reasons.

16. Men are not the same. Don’t listen to
“men
are
the same jare!” It’s a lie! How many men
have
you
met out of about six billion people on
earth? You
see
am nau, abi?

17. Adventures can be sweet. However,
never
embark on a long trip to meet a man
without
informing someone. Never!

18. Guys have a way of saying “don’t let
anybody
know about us yet.” If the relationship is
up to
three
months and counting,somebody should
know
about
it jor! Better things, they no dey hide am.

19. They say good girls love bad boys.
And as a
good girl, you are looking for a bad boy
to love?
OYO for you! Let bad girls love bad boys
and
good
girls love good boys. Nobody should use
your
head
to catch a bullet.

20. Enjoy being single. It does not last
forever.

WARRI BIBLE IS OUT. GRAB YOUR COPY NOW!

Sample version!::

ENG:- As it is written in the Bible.
WARRI:- As dem yan 4 Bible !
ENG:- Jesus entered the boat with his
disciples !
WARRI:- Bros J cum enta canoe with him
padi dem !
ENG:- As the boat was sailing, there was
a great storm !
WARRI:- As the canoe dey move, na im
yawa cum gas !
ENG:- The storm was so great that it was
like a whirlwind !
WARRI:- as d yawa Dey gas, na him
kasala burst join !
ENG:- The disciples became So afraid
and they shouted Master ! Master !
WARRI:- Na him liver fail him padi dem,
na him dem begin dey hala Bros eh !
Bros eh!
ENG:- Jesus got up and calmed down the
wind!
WARRI:- Nα so bros J get up kon arrange
the mata!
ENG:- HE turned to his disciples and
said, oh ye with of little faith!
WARRI:- Na him bros J luk him padi
dem, shake him head, kon provoke..."O
BOI! UNA FALL MA HAND O !
ENG:- The disciples replied and said
"what manner of man is this?"
WARRI:- him padi dem kon hala "shoo !
Bros J, which levels Nαh, you BE WINSH?

LADIES

# LADIES
Your boyfriend may not own a car. He
may
not
earn a lot of money. He may not live in a
posh
estate. He may not be able to shower
you
with
gifts all the time. He may not have a
great
job.
But it’s enough to know you are the
ONLY ONE
He has at his heart. He has a vision. He
is
Honest. He is very hard-working. He is
humble.
He keeps that smile on your face. He
talks to
you
every day. He actually listens to you. He
always
replies your messages. He tolerates you
when
you're moody. His family knows you. He
tells
you
your beautiful all the time. He sees you
every
chance he gets. He appreciates the
tiniest
things
you do. He is there when you need him.
He
respects you. He is proud you are his…
And he
treats you like a queen because you are
his
everything and he fears to lose you.
Why ask for what he cannot afford? He
may
not
have it all now, but one day he will... He
may
not
be living his dream now, but one day he
will…
He
pictures making a family with you and he
means
it when he says that he loves you.
African Ladies, appreciate that man in
your
life
who strives to be all you need.... He may
not
be
all the things you need right now but
with
time he
will be, He will get a job, get the money,
he
will
buy a land and he will build a house for
both
of
you. He won’t be renting or staying at
his
parent’s crib forever. He will fulfill all his
promises
and he will be a good dad to your
children.
Just
kindly be patient if you seriously love
him.
Everything will be fine between both of
you.
Don't
be pushed around by money and what
you
wanna eat now....I pray you don't eat up
the
future of your unborn children!
LADIES pardon me if I am too direct
here!

ADVICE TO LADIES, ESPECIALLY THOSE IN THEIR TWENTIES...

1. Guys love to marry an
independent and mature lady... So
instead of sitting there and waiting
to be bluffed by a guy, focus on getting
a
career
that would take
you out of the house wife
category...

2. Never let the sweet talks of guys
deceive you, most times they just
want to go between your legs and run
off
thereafter.

3. Remove the mentality from your
mind that guys will keep springing
up to approach you. The older you
get by the day, the less toasters
you will have.

4. Playing 'too' hard to get is
the
worst thing you should ever start,
remember, Nothing lasts forever. If
you still doubt, check out the
number of matured single ladies
looking up to GOD FOR A MIRACLE.

5. Never
extort things from a guy
you don't love, guys always have
ways of paying a girl back, either
through their FRIENDS or total
'PAID' STRANGERS....BE CAREFUL.

6. Never be deceived you can trap a guy
through
sex. A man will also
return to his wife who sex starves
him for years once he loves and
trust her. You can never win a man
over with your body.

7. If all you take to the relationship is the
mind
set to EXTRACT MONEY
from him, don't complain if all he
ask from you is your body. He has
seen you have nothing else to
offer...

8. Don't be fooled when Guys tell you
they
have
never met a prettier
girl, they will say that same thing to
an 80 year old woman they want to
get intimate with.
:
9. A guy always taking you to the
SILVER-BIRD, FAST FOOD, MALL AND
EVENTS
AT
CONFERENCE
CENTER /NATIONAL THEATER is no
sign that he loves you, if he doesn't
care to ask and PLAN YOUR FUTURE
TOGETHER then you are just his
'SOCIAL MATE' and nothing else....

10. If the
only time he invites you
over is when he needs to cook,
clean the house and do his laundry,
then just know you are his
"executive house help".

11. If he avoids meeting your family and
close
friends then it is
an obvious sign he is just playing
games with you.

12. If the only places he doesn't
frown when you enter are his
bedroom and kitchen then know you
aren't
welcome (only being
used).
Have you noticed that most of the
ladies that end up being
EMOTIONALLY ABUSED are the
ones at the receiving end...Always with
open
arms, requesting for
something and ready to receive...
The more you widen your arms,
the more he widens your legs...
A grown up guy who gives the
excuse about his parents being wild
when he
brings female visitors to
the house is a sign that HE HAS A
SERIOUS GIRL AND HAS
INTRODUCED HER TO HIS PARENTS
ALREADY... ADVISE YOURSELF...
FINALLY, I ALWAYS SAY THIS AND WILL
REPEAT IT
AGAIN... It's better
to be sitting in a taxi smiling
happily than to be in your
husband’s fresh air conditioned
BMW with bruised eyes wearing a
fresh Gucci shades alongside a Burberry
scarf....
JUST REMEMBER, THAT DATING A
RICH MAN DOESN'T GUARANTEE
HAPPINESS IN MARRIAGE... MONEY
IS NOT EVERYTHING.....MAKING
RIGHT CHOICES IN LIFE IS WHAT
MATTERS
MOST.

Auchi Poly Admission List 20142015 Out On Jamb Portal

Auchi Polytechnic Admission List for the 2014/2015
session is out for checking on JAMB admission Portal.
All candidates of AuchiPoly who took part in the 2014
Post-UTME and have checked their results can now
view their admission status. Follow the steps below:
How to check Auchi Poly Admission List/Status
2014/2015
Candidates who want to check the Auchi Polytechnic
2014/2015 admission list should do the following on
JAMB admission status-checker:
Go to the official JAMB portal by clicking the following
link: JAMB Admission Status 2014/2015 Checking
Admitted candidates are advised to purchase
admission letter printing scratch card from the
nearest JAMB office and print their admission letters .
For Auchi Polytechnic candidates who want to check
their admission status; who may have forgotten their
Registration Number, this can be retrieved upon
validation of PIN and Serial Number with either
surname, first name or middle name, Date of Birth
and State of Origin.

Niger State Poly Zungeru Post Utme 2014 Form Out

Niger State Polytechnic, Zungeru 2014/2015 Post-
UTME screening for admission is out. The Niger Poly
Post-UTME screening date has been scheduled to
come up on Saturday 11th October, 2014. You can
follow the guide here to apply for the screening
exercise. Looking for HND and Pre-ND admission
details, click here to view!
Applications are invited from all interested candidates
who wrote 2014/2015 UTME and made The Niger
State Polytechnic, Zungeru, Niger State, any of their
choices of institutionn, including Niger State
Polytechnic’s PRE-ND students and had a total score
of 150 and above in the 2014 UTME.
How to apply/register for Niger State Poly Zungeru
Post-UTME 2014 Screening
1. POST-UTME registration will be online
2. Payment of non-refundable registration fee of Two
Thousand Naira Only(2000) as screening, result
checking and verification of admission status fee in
any branch of the following designated banks;
i. Unity Bank Plc
Acc Name: Niger State Polytechnic Revenue
Acc No: 0017836225
ii. United Bank for Africa (UBA) plc
Acc Name: Niger State Polytechnic Revenue
Acc No: 1000122194
3. Obtain access card from bank of payment (if the
branch of payment is Bida, Kontagora, Zungeru or
Wushishi, Niger State) or at Bursary Departments of
Bida or Zungeru Campuses ( If payment is made at
other branches of the designated banks
4. Log on to the Polytechnic website
www.nigerpoly.edu.ngand click on POST-UTME
registration link. Follow the instructions on the site to
complete the registration. Ensure you upload your
most recent passport size photograph.
5. Make a colored printout of the online completed
form and the acknowledgement slip containing your
screening Number
6. Candidates should note that bank charges will be
paid at the point of purchase
Courses Available at Full-time ND level (Niger State
Polytechnic):
Two (2) Tear Full-time National Diploma (ND)
Programmes obtainable in College of Science and
Technology (CST), Main Campus, Zungeru.
i. Building Technology.
ii. Civil Engineering Technology.
iii. Computer Science.
iv. Electrical Engineering Technology.
v. Estate Management
vi. Mechanical Engineering Technology.
vii. Science Laboratory Technology.
viii. Quantity Surveying.
ix. Statistics.
x. Urban and Regional Planning.
NIGER STATE POLY POST-UTME DATE (2014/2015
SCREENING EXERCISE)
The date for Post-UTME screening Exercise has been
scheduled as follows:
Date: Saturday 11th October, 2014
Time: 8:00am
Venue: Niger State Polytechnic, Main Campus,
Zungeru

INDEPENDENT

Reach 4 d freedom, go wit d feelin dat u can do all dat u can. Feel d flame burn deep in ur imaginative mind 2day,as we celebrat d no-ordinary dream n pride of 1 great nation. Happy independence day.
Written by ASUQUO S